


A Collection of Short Stories

by JamieHasCatEyes



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A Collection, Crack, Drabbles, Gen, Short Stories, cross posted on tumblr, writing prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-07-04 20:04:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 26,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15848409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieHasCatEyes/pseuds/JamieHasCatEyes
Summary: Writing prompts and short ideas that I've had.The first story takes place on the first day of school.Chloe wants Marinette's seat, so Marinette decides to claim her territory.





	1. If Things Had Been a Little Different...

**Author's Note:**

> These first few were posted on Tumblr, so I decided to put them here as well.

Marinette abhored the first day of school. There was the awkwardness of finding a seat, the uncomfortable greeting of people she barely knew, and the certainty that Chloe would enjoy making her life miserable.

Still, as Sabine hurried her out the door, Marinette lifted her chin. She was determined to make the most of her day, despite her fears.

After saving an elderly man from being ran over, she hurried up to her classroom. Madame Bustier was already there, encouraging people to change seats from previous years. There were also two people she didn’t recognise sitting in the front row.

Marinette avoided the obvious cliques, and the unknown elements that were the new students. Finding her usual seat, Marinette removed her bag and sat down.

‘Hey,’ said one of the new students, as she stood at the other end of Marinette’s desk. ‘Do you mind if I sit with you? I don’t know anyone, and I didn’t see you enter with anybody,’ she trailed off.

Marinette looked up at her, startled. ‘I don’t mind at all. Please, take a seat.’

‘Thanks. I’m Alya,’ she introduced herself, as she sat down.

Marinette held out her box of macarons with a smile. ‘Marinette,’ she replied.

Alya accepted one and ate it with a pleased hum. Marinette grinned back before putting the box away.

‘Marinette, you’re in my seat,’ declared an officious voice.

Suppressing a long-suffering groan, she spun in place to look up at Chloe. ‘But Chloe, this has always been my seat.’

She could feel the stares of their classmates. They had all turned to look, the weight of their regard heavy on her shoulders. Alya had stiffened with anger, offended by Chloe’s entitled attitude.

Years of resentment bubbled up. Marinette was sick of being pushed around by Chloe. She had never been anything but nice, and she was always repaid by being treated like trash for no good reason.

An idea struck.

Ignoring Chloe as she continued to blather behind her, Marinette retrieved her water bottle out of her bag, and pulled a large mouthful. Her cheeks filled with liquid, she replaced her water bottle, and turned forward. Chloe was still muttering insults.

Without warning, Marinette opened her mouth, letting the water spill over the desk.

Chloe leapt back with an exclamation of disgust, while the rest of their classmates stared in shock for a moment, before bursting into hysterical laughter. Even the new boy seated in front of her seemed to be laughing.

Chloe stormed away to take a seat in the front row, no longer interested in Marinette’s seat, now that she had  “contaminated” it. 

Alya had laid her head on the desk, out of reach of the puddle, and was giggling helplessly. ‘There’s one way to claim your territory,’ she chuckled.

For the rest of the morning, Marinette received praises from her classmates. She rode her high until lunchtime, when Ivan was turned into a monster.


	2. A Little Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe is up to her usual antics. Marinette feels sorry for herself, and Alix has an idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few of you may have seen this idea floating around. I assure you, the original concept and post was mine.

****

Marinette threw herself down in a corner of the courtyard, hugging her legs to rest her chin on her knees. She sniffled, trying valiantly not to cry, though her eyes prickled and her nose stung. Swallowing, however, did not ease the choking ache in her throat.

“Are you all right?” asked Rose, as she bent down, hands on her knees, to look Marinette in the eyes.

“That cow had no right to say such things,” Alix added as she crouched to Marinette’s left.

Mylene nodded. “That was especially cruel, even for Chloe.”

The other girls in her class, and Ivan, all came over to offer support and commiserate, with the exception of Sabrina, and Chloe herself.

Marinette accepted their sympathies graciously, but her pride still stung from the verbal onslaught Chloe had unleashed. It had been an unfortunate coincidence when Chloe had caught her sighing over a picture of Adrien. Chloe had laughed at, mocked, and ridiculed her for her crush, claiming someone like Marinette had no chance of ever being with someone like Adrien. To add to the humiliation, almost the entire school had heard. It was a small mercy Adrien hadn’t been there to witness the ordeal, but word was sure to get back to him by day’s end.

Alya placed a comforting arm around Marinette’s shoulders. “Chloe really has gone too far this time. Something seriously needs to be done about her.”

“Forget it,” Marinette replied. “She’s not worth the effort, and wouldn’t learn anything anyway. She thinks she’s the queen of Paris.”

“You know what happens to royalty in France,” Juleka mumbled, a sinister light in her eyes.

“We are not re-enacting the fall of King Louis and Marie Antoinette. Can you imagine the mess?” Alya argued.

Juleka looked away with a subtle pout.

Alix glanced behind her, then turned back to Marinette with a wicked grin. “I have an idea.”

 

* * *

 

Adrien entered the school to almost be assaulted by Chloe. He held her back with a strained smile when she tried to hug him. Chloe’s hugs were painfully tight, and her greeting kisses too moist.

“Hey, Chloe, what’s up?”

“Adri-kins, you will no believe what I found out,” she shrieked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Sabrina hovered anxiously behind her, wringing her hands as she watched the people around them closely. Adrien felt instantly suspicious. However, before Chloe could launch into an explanation, she was jerked away by the back of her jacket. Alix stood in her place, glaring fiercely after her.  She then turned to Adrien, grabbed his lapels, and yanked him down to place a hard kiss on his lips. She then let him go, wiped her mouth, and sprinted up to Madame Bustier’s classroom.

Adrien stared after her while Chloe froze, both in a state of shock.

He was pulled out of his stupor by a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rose smiling up at him, before she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. Then she followed Alix up to the classroom.

Mylene cleared her throat, catching Adrien’s attention. He smiled politely, awaiting an explanation, but she surprised him when she reached up on her tip toes to peck his other cheek. Adrien thought Ivan would voice an objection, but he calmly waited at the base of the stairs to escort Mylene up to their classroom.

Chloe was red-faced and emitting a sound akin to a boiling kettle, while Sabrina tried to fan her with a handkerchief. Adrien shrugged helplessly, and hoped she wouldn’t take her anger out on him.

“Hey, Vanilla Bean,” said a new voice.

Adrien heaved a sigh of relief as he turned to face Alya. She had her phone in hand, recording everything, including her own kiss. She planted it on his temple with an exaggerated  _mwah!_

Like the others, she then headed up to the classroom without another word.

Adrien was thoroughly confused. He shook his head after them, wondering what could have come over them. Then, the sound of a throat clearing announced a new arrival. 

Juleka leaned forward to gently kiss his forehead before she, too, went upstairs

Adrien was sure Chloe would have an apoplectic fit any second. Her face had gone from crimson to a mottled purple, her breathing was fast and shallow, and her pupils had contracted to pinpoints. He took a wary step back, only to bump into another person.

Lila spun him around, gripped him firmly by the shoulders, and swooped in to kiss him on the lips. He jumped back when he felt her lick him. Lila merely winked, then turned on her heel to follow the others.

Adrien discreetly wiped his mouth, and cringed when he heard Chloe huffing for breath behind him. He did not dare turn around to face her.

A delicate cough brought his attention to his front. Marinette stood before him, blushing furiously, and looking smaller than he had ever seen. Her shoulders were hunched, and she had difficulty looking directly at him. Adrien gulped. 

However, instead of lunging at him, Marinette reached for his hand. Holding it tenderly, she brought it up to place a light kiss on his knuckles. Adrien’s guts somersaulted. Never in his life had he ever suspected he’d be on the receiving end of a hand kiss. Adding to his surprise was the realisation that he did not dislike this new turn of events.

Marinette squeaked, and let go of his hand to sprint upstairs. Adrien watched her go, wistfully thinking it would have been nice if she’d stayed.

“Why are you blushing?” Chloe screamed. Her squealing quickly became unintelligible as her rage overwhelmed her ability to speak. Adrien backed away from her, seeking refuge under the staircase.

There, he met Nino who had watched the whole episode play out from the safety of the shadows.

“Hey Man,” Adrien began, covering the hurt that Nino had done nothing to defend him or explain the girls' actions. “Do you know what’s going on with the girls? That was super weird, and no one’s telling me anything.”

Nino coughed into his hand, then placed his free arm around Adrien’s shoulders. He leaned in conspiratorially, and Adrien leaned in too, eager for clarification.

Nino kissed his cheek with a wet smack, then ran upstairs cackling. More laughter echoed down from the classroom, boisterously gleeful.

On the other side of the courtyard, Chloe fell down in a faint.

 

* * *

 

 

Adrien returned from lunch break, still bitter at his classmates for not explaining the events of the morning. He sat on the ground at the far end of the courtyard and ignored everyone as they walked by, acting as if the Kissing Incident had never happened.

He looked up at the collective gasps and exclamations of surprise. Ladybug had dropped into the centre of the courtyard, her yoyo wire retracting with a  _zip_ noise. She smiled pleasantly as people began to gather around, but her eyes were darting around the courtyard as if she were searching for something. 

Her expression lit up when she saw him. Extracting herself from the crowd, she approached Adrien with a friendly smile. He scrambled to his feet, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans.

Before he could speak, Ladybug had cupped his cheeks and closed the distance to kiss him on the lips. She lingered a little too long to be called chaste, her lips caressing his, before she drew back. Adrien tried to follow, eager to continue, but paused when she chuckled quietly.

“I heard you were giving away free kisses,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to miss out.” 

Adrien’s eyes bulged. 

“See you around, Hot Stuff,” she said, before she threw out her yoyo and flew away.

Still badly confused, Adrien couldn’t deny this was the best day of his life.


	3. Up Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette finds Chat Noir in her kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw the prompt and had to give it a go, despite not quite fitting the outline -  
> Person A suffers from insomnia. Upon failing to sleep for yet another night, they enter the kitchen at 2 am to make themselves chamomile tea, hot milk, or Ovaltine. Person B is a complete stranger, bleeding from a head wound and dressed all in black, sitting on A's kitchen floor and eating Nutella from the jar. It isn't A's Nutella. A doesn't eat Nutella. It is however, A's kitchen and A's teaspoon.  
> B: I can explain  
> A:  
> B:  
> A:  
> B: ... No I can't  
> By Dragonsophie

Marinette tossed and turned, sleep eluding her once again. This was the third consecutive night she had laid awake, minor discomforts catching her attention and keeping her from reaching the sweet oblivion of sleep. Her skin twitched, the pillow was too low, the collar of her shirt throttled her, she was too hot, too cold, or Tikki’s faint snores distracted her. 

Heaving a sigh of frustration, Marinette hauled herself out of bed. Careful to not wake Tikki, she eased the blankets back, and slipped down her ladder. Wearily, she opened her door, and headed down to the kitchen to prepare a mug of chamomile tea. 

As she softly descended the stairs, a faint sound in the kitchen made her pause. She crept furtively down the rest of the way, and peered around the corner. She couldn’t see anything, so she raced back upstairs to grab her phone, just in case. Turning on the torch app, she lit her path back to the kitchen.

There were still unidentifiable noises coming from behind the counter, so Marinette snatched up a rolling pin and held it aloft in her free hand. She rounded the corner slowly, holding her breath as her nerves and imagination spiked.

Sitting on the floor below the sink was Chat Noir, blood dripping from a point under his hair and leaking over his left eye, as he dug a spoon into a jar of Nutella. Marinette blinked at him, frozen in place at the bizarre scene.

Finally noticing her presence, he stared back at her. ‘I can explain,’ he said.

There was a moment of weighted silence as they stared at each other.

‘No, I can’t,’ he eventually confessed.

Pulled from her shock, Marinette lowered her arm and set the rolling pin down. 

‘What the heck are you doing here? Where did you get a jar of Nutella?’ Certainly, the latter wasn’t the most pertinent question, but its appearance bothered her as it hadn’t been in their pantry. No one in her house ate Nutella, but the spoon he used was clearly from the set in the drawer.

Chat Noir held up the jar, bringing it close to his eyes for inspection. Squinting at it, he frowned. Then he smiled, shrugged, and hummed an  _I don’t know noise_ , before scooping out another heaping spoonful and sticking it in his mouth.

Shaking her head, Marinette knelt before him to brush his hair aside and inspect his injury. There was a gash on his hairline, but she found no evidence of a more serious injury elsewhere. 

‘Wait here, and I’ll get the first aid kit,’ she told him, resigned to another sleepless night.

She left him there, and went to the bathroom, extracting the small kit from under the vanity. When she returned, turning on the light as she passed, Chat Noir was where she had left him, his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on his jar. Taking advantage of his distraction, she pinned his hair up with an old hair clip, and began soaking a cotton ball with disinfectant. 

He flinched violently when she applied it to the wound, his yelp only muffled by the spoon in his mouth. Marinette gently blew on the cut to soothe the sting of the disinfectant, and  Chat Noir relaxed. She repeated the process until she was sure the site was cleaned.

A band-aid was not going to work, so she dug around for the liquid bandage. He cringed when she applied it to the open cut, but refrained from crying out.  Marinette blew on it again until he calmed down.

Once he was taken care of, and the first aid kit put away, Marinette squatted in front of him once more. 

‘Chat Noir, can you tell me what happened to you?’

Peering up at her, he smiled happily. ‘I fell off a roof.’

Placing her hand over her face, she suppressed a groan. ‘You’d better stay here for the night. You can rest on my chaise until you feel better. If you start to feel dizzy or nauseous, tell me. You may need to go to the hospital.’

She helped him to his feet, then supported his weight as she escorted him to her room. She was laying a blanket over him when she realised he still clutched the jar of Nutella.

‘Chat Noir, where did you get that from?’ she asked, pointing.

Raising the hand that still held it, his eyes widened in surprise. ‘Where’d that come from?’ he exclaimed.

Marinette groaned, and headed back up to her bed. She knew that sleep would be a long way off, but she hoped Chat Noir would be gone by morning.

‘Thank you, Princess,’ he said, so softly she almost missed it.

Marinette smiled. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad turn of events after all.


	4. Up Late: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the previous chapter from Adrien's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the previous story because dragon-of-the-sea asked for it.

Chat Noir woke up to a bouquet of unfamiliar smells. They were the scents of clean linen, flowery perfume, and baking bread. Cracking one eye open, he winced and sucked in a breath through his teeth. His head ached fiercely.  

Stifling a pained groan, he pushed into a sitting position. Tentatively rubbing his head, he looked around. Pink was the first thing to register in his foggy mind, the second was that his teeth felt furry and his mouth tasted vile. Letting his gaze drop, he saw an empty jar of Nutella laying abandoned on the floor, a smudged spoon resting beside it. Comprehension dawned, though understanding did not.

Had he eaten an entire jar on his own? Where did he get it from? The last thing he remembered was running a solo patrol the night before. It had drizzled throughout the day, so the rooftops were slick. He’d missed his footing upon landing, and had slid off. Judging by the searing pain above his eye, he must have hit his head on the way down.

Cautiously, he looked around the room once more. The blurry pink came into focus and he realised he was in Marinette’s room. He levered himself up, and walked to her vanity to inspect the damage.

The wound was clean and sealed with a liquid band aid. Poking at it tenderly, he watched the skin, mottled with bruises, yield slightly with the swelling. His father would be furious if he ever found out. Chat Noir let his hair fall forward, and hoped he didn’t have any upcoming photo shoots.

Stirring in the bed above reminded him he was not alone. Peering up at the bed, he saw Marinette was still fast asleep. As he released a sigh of relief, he walked back to her door and eased it open. 

There were sounds coming from the bakery, but the living room was mercifully vacant. Chat Noir crept downstairs and exited through a window.

He sneaked back into his room and detransformed just as Nathalie knocked on his door.

‘Adrien, time to get up. You’ll be late.’

Adrien rolled his eyes. ‘Yes, Nathalie.’

Before Plagg could voice a complaint, Adrien unwrapped a wheel of Camembert, and left another beside it, then got into the shower. He scrubbed his teeth, got dressed, and brushed his hair. It didn’t take a lot of effort to style it to fall over the cut on his head.

It wasn’t until he was at school when he belatedly realised Marinette must have taken care of him the night before. She was talking with Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylene, and Alix, slumping where she stood. Upon closer inspection, Marinette wasn’t talking at all. She stood only because Alya was holding her up, her eyelids drooped, and there were heavy shadows under her eyes. Her body language screamed exhaustion, and Adrien realised it was his fault.

Guilt burned his chest, and his gut twisted. She had been so kind to look after him, making sure he was cleaned up and had a warm place to rest. His recollections were hazy, but he’d woken up in her room under a soft blanket and his injury cleansed and bandaged. He had also stolen her Nutella.

He had to find a way to make it up to her.

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir knocked on her skylight just after darkness fell. It was late enough to ensure he wouldn’t be seen, but too early for her to be asleep. However, her extreme exhaustion could have forced her to bed early.   

Marinette appeared below the hatch, frowning. Her expression cleared when she saw him, and she waved him in.

Prying up the hatch, Chat Noir dropped inside, following Marinette to the main floor. There, they turned to face each other. Looking at her up close, Chat Noir saw that Marinette’s skin was pale and slack, the shadows under her eyes were more pronounced, and even her hair had lost its lustre. Her posture sagged, and her eyes were dull.

‘What’re you doing here, Chat?’ she asked, even her voice was slurred and croaky.

Forcing himself to look her in the eyes, Chat Noir straightened up. ‘I just wanted to apologise for last night. I must’ve seriously inconvenienced you, kept you up to look after me. It was very kind, and I thank you for that, but I’m sorry to have kept you from your sleep.’

Marinette raised one shoulder, then let it drop in a half shrug. ‘I was already awake, and hadn’t slept much the last few nights anyway. Honestly, your arrival probably didn’t make any difference, apart from giving me something else to do, other than lie down and be frustrated.’

‘Oh, well. Still, it must have put you out. I mean, I think I ate all your Nutella.’

Marinette snorted a tired laugh. ‘That wasn’t my Nutella. No one here even eats it. Honestly, I don’t know where you got it. You just showed up in the kitchen, and sat on the floor, eating it out of the container with a tea spoon. If I weren’t so tired, I would’ve laughed. Maybe snapped a picture for Alya’s blog.’

Chat Noir grimaced, crossing his arms. ‘In that case, I’m thankful for your exhaustion.’

Marinette laid a theatrical hand over her heart. ‘Chat Noir, are you sassing me?’

He swept into a deep bow. Straightening up, he held his arms open and approached her slowly. She almost fell into his embrace, and didn’t even notice when he fiddled with his pocket and fastened a delicate silver chain around her neck. 

When she was slow to pull away, Chat Noir scooped her up and carried her to her bed. She curled up against him with a small smile, then sighed as he placed her in bed.

‘Good night, Marinette. Thanks again for your help.’ He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then carefully leapt back up through her skylight.


	5. To the Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince Adrien is on a mission to save the lovely damsel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fairy tale AU

Prince Adrien was handsome, fierce, and charming. He was beloved by his people, and his prowess in battle was legendary. His education had been seen to by only the most adept scholars, and his athletic ability was envied by sportsmen across the world.

However, none of that mattered in this instance.

“I said, no thanks,” the lovely young maiden he had been sent to rescue told him. 

He stood at the mouth of a well appointed cave, sword in hand and pose ready for a fight, eager to save the beautiful damsel from the heinous dragon. The maiden, though, just turned a page in her book and continued reading.

‘But, you’re in distress,’ Adrien argued, confused.

The maiden raised her eyes, uncrossed, then recrossed her legs, but remained seated on a thick rug on the floor. “I assure you, Good Sir, that I am most definitely not in distress.”

Adrien lowered his sword, the tip touching the ground. “What about the hideous dragon that stole you from your home?”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse you. Fang is not some monster, are you Fang?” She turned to regard the great mound she was leaning against.

What Adrien had initially thought was a decorative pile of rocks moved. A great head swivelled around to face him, its eyes narrowed and mean. It snorted a hot, gusty breath while the maiden adjusted her long skirts. 

“I think you owe Fang an apology,” she told him.

Adrien’s mouth worked soundlessly. This was not what he had expected when a group of villagers begged for his help. 

“Look, Miss,” he trailed off. He’d forgotten the name the desperate villagers had mentioned.

“Marinette,’ she supplied.

“Miss Marinette, your people pleaded for me to bring you home. They were sure you were in grave danger, and begged me to save you.”

“Did they tell you why?”

Astounded, he took a step back. “Why? They’re your friends and family. They love you dearly.”

Marinette snapped her book shut. She frowned, her eyebrows coming down in a sharp V. “While my parents do love me, the rest of my village merely finds me convenient. They take advantage of my good nature, and give no word of thanks for all I do. I sew their garments, repair the rips and tears, bake their bread, and offer a listening ear when they’re sad. But never have any of them offered to reciprocate. Instead, they try to marry me off to the son of the local baron, thinking they're doing me a service. He's a nice enough man, but not one whom I love, or even chose.”

Adrien stilled, her tirade washing over him. “So, you let this dragon abduct you?”

She glared up at him. “I did not let him, I asked him to.”

The sword clattered to the ground, released from slack and unresponsive fingers. Adrien tried to comprehend her last sentence, but the concept was too strange. 

“You asked him to?” he wheezed.

“Yes,” Marinette replied, primly, “and a stellar job he did, too.” She scratched Fang under the chin.

“Just to be certain, you don’t need rescuing?” Adrien was sure he had somehow misunderstood. Beautiful girls needed to be saved from monsters, not seek refuge with them.

“Nope,” she replied, opening her book once more.

“What do I tell your people?” he exclaimed.

Marinette shrugged. “Whatever you like, so long as you don’t tell them my current location.”

Adrien shook his head to clear it. “Ok, you’re hiding out here. What I don’t see is what the dragon gets out of this. I mean, what’s his payoff?”

He was half afraid she would say something like an easy meal, that she was  a lure to bring in valiant or unwary knights who would save a pretty girl.

Marinette regarded him with an expression which suggested she pitied him for an inferior intellect. “Isn’t it obvious? He gets a friend.”

Adrien raised a finger, his mouth open, but he didn’t know what point he could make against an argument like that. Instead, he picked up his sword, turned around and left. As he mounted his horse, he wondered what he was going to say to Marinette’s distraught parents.


	6. The Worst Villain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir is a terrible bad guy, in more ways than one...

Chat Noir stood straight and tall atop Montparnasse Tower, his hands on his hips, as he gazed at the city sprawled before him. He grinned as his eyes narrowed, evil ideas churning in his mind, wondering what wicked deed he would perform next. 

The people cowered in fear whenever they saw him, screaming and running around wildly the moment he moved, Papillon’s newest akuma at his back. It was a thrilling rush to have people so openly terrified of his very presence, the mere threat of his Cataclysm enough to have them begging for mercy.

Truly, he was the most feared villain in Paris.

 

* * *

 

Ladybug stood on the roof of an apartment building, staring across the street at Chat Noir, where he crouched on the building opposite. 

‘Don’t even think of it, Chat Noir,’ she ordered, sternly.

A grin spread across Chat Noir’s face, before he turned his head. He reached out with one hand to nudge a loose roof tile forward.

‘Chat, don’t you dare,’ Ladybug told him, pointing her finger.

With a contrived air of innocence, Chat Noir pushed the tile over the edge. It fell, shattering on the pavement with a loud crash. 

‘You fool,’ Ladybug shrieked. ‘Someone could’ve been hit.’

Chat Noir’s eyes widened. He lunged forward to peer over the side, and down to the street. 

‘Sorry,’ he called.

There was no one there, the street vacated after they had both showed up.

Ladybug watched Chat Noir heave a sigh of relief. Then, his head snapped up to stare at her. She met his glare with a steady gaze, crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

Chat Noir’s hand crept toward another tile.

Ladybug clenched her teeth and stifled a frustrated scream. Chat Noir really was the most annoying inconvenience. He overturned garbage bins, dropped out of nowhere to scare tourists as they posed for photos, and he’d even vandalised a billboard poster of a model who worked for a rival company of Gabriel Agreste’s brand. Chat Noir had cackled gleefully as he scribbled a heavy moustache on the swarthy young man, before sprinting away with childish taunts of  _hairy lip_. 

Now, Chat Noir drew his hand back and got to his feet, still watching her carefully. He deliberately turned his back on her, kicked the tile behind him, then ran away as fast as he could. The tile remained where it was, barely shifted out of place by his heel.

Ladybug shook her head, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort to pursue him.

 

* * *

 

Adrien strutted into school the following morning, eager to hear his classmates gossip about Chat Noir’s latest evil deed. If he were to be honest, he was relieved no one had been standing beneath him when he’d knocked that tile over. His heart had leapt into his throat when Ladybug had called him out for the carelessness. 

Adrien shook his head. Villains weren’t supposed to care if innocent people got hurt - that’s what made them so terrifying. But, no one would ever know what he thought in the privacy of his own mind. Let the world think he didn’t care about other peoples’ well being. It only made him more scary.

A group of his classmates were gathered around the base of a set of stairs, discussing the previous day’s events.

‘That Chat Noir is a damned nuisance,’ Nino moaned. 

‘He’s a danger to the public,’ agreed Ivan, his arm around Mylene’s shoulders.

Adrien nodded in satisfaction as he moved to walk away. It wasn’t the frightened whispering he had hoped for, but it would do. 

‘He’s a menace, true, but he’s mostly just plain annoying,’ complained a new voice.

Adrien spun around, surprised at the dismissive tone. Marinette had joined the group, arms folded and her nose turned up, as she huffed.

‘I mean, he never does anything overtly villainous. He’s just some punk brat who’s deluded himself into believing he’s all that.’

Adrien spluttered. ‘Are you serious? Chat Noir poses a massive threat to the well being of the entire city.’

Everyone turned to face him. Sweat beaded on his forehead under the weight of their collective regard.

‘You can’t be serious,’ snorted Marinette. ‘He’s a two-bit thug, at best.’

Adrien reeled in the face of her contempt. He never would have thought that sweet, kind, adorable Marinette would think of anyone like that. In his fantasies, he had always imagined her cringing away from him, tears in her wide, lovely eyes, as he smirked at her with a roguish wink.

His dreams popped like a soap bubble. He would have to do something about her.


	7. The Worst Villain Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the previous chapter

Marinette slung her purse strap over her shoulder as she waved goodbye to the elderly gentleman standing in his doorway. As a favour to her parents, she had volunteered to make the deliveries that afternoon, carrying a stack of boxes for people who were incapable of leaving their houses. Tom and Sabine had both been too busy, and fretted about their customers until Marinette stepped in. She hefted the stack of orders, then headed to her first destination.

Their customers were happy to see her, complimenting her generously for her hard work and familial loyalty. They paid the fee, offered her tea, which she politely refused, then she moved on. Her load gradually became easier to carry, even as her purse grew fatter. All in all, it was a good afternoon.

Finally done, she was on her way home, carefully guarding her purse full of cash. Tikki rode silently in her breast pocket, patiently waiting until she was needed, or until Marinette arrived home. Marinette had slipped her a biscuit prior to leaving the bakery, so she was fuelled up and ready to go, just in case.

Marinette hummed tunelessly as she walked, nodding to people she recognised along the way. As she turned down a narrow, shadowy street, however, a dark shape dropped in front of her, startling her back in fright.

‘Well, well. Look who it is,’ drawled Chat Noir as he rested a hand against a wall.

Marinette’s expression fell.  _Of course, he’d show up_ , she thought bitterly.

Chat Noir inspected the claws on his free hand, an air of carelessness so artificial it almost made her laugh. 

‘What do you want?’ she asked, instead.

He shrugged. ‘I heard along the grapevine that you don’t think I’m all that dangerous.’

Suppressing a groan, Marinette clutched her purse as though afraid he would steal it. ‘Oh, I know how potentially deadly you are,’ she told him.

 _Even though you never act on that potential_ , she added silently.

But Chat Noir puffed out his chest, preening. ‘I am pretty lethal, aren’t I?’

‘Oh yes,’ she agreed, nodding. ‘Your power of destruction is terrifying.’

As he grinned foolishly, Marinette looked away and rolled her eyes. She had known for a while that he responded well to flattery, and was always open to hearing how “dangerous” he was. Marinette doubted he ever did anything more dangerous than jaywalk. 

Chat Noir pushed away from the wall and approached her slowly, apparently trying to make it look more like a prowl. Marinette thought he looked more like he was trying not to fart. 

‘Do I scare you, Princess?’ he asked, leaning into her space with a smirk.

Marinette was caught between laughing hysterically, and shoving him away. She compromised by kicking him in the shin, before running away. She didn’t stop running until after she got home, bursting through the bakery doors to the surprise of her parents. 

‘Everything ok, Honey?’ Sabine asked.

Marinette didn’t have to try hard to muster up a smile. ‘Everything’s fine, Maman. Here’s the delivery money.’ 

She handed the purse over the counter, then went to her room, claiming she still had homework. Once there, she collapsed into her chaise, laughing until she was breathless.

* * *

Chat Noir sat on one of Notre Dame’s towers, rubbing his shin and scowling at the distant lights of Marinette’s home. Despite what she’d told him, she didn’t seem afraid of him at all. In fact, she had been toying with him. Chat Noir didn’t know whether to be annoyed or impressed.  

Marinette was as brave as she was pretty, something he normally found admirable. But he’d wanted her to be impressed, and a little cowed, by his presence. 

He shook his head. The thought of Marinette scared of him made his chest ache.

 _Why do women have to be so confusing?_  he thought, despairingly. _What do I even want her to think of me, and why should I care, anyway?_

He would never have an answer to the first question, he knew that. As for the second, he jut wanted Marinette to be impressed by him, maybe even awed. But why he cared was a complete mystery. 

Chat Noir shook away the confusing, and slightly distressing thoughts and stood up. There was nothing more he could do than go home and get some sleep.


	8. Plagg's Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien accidentally leaves Plagg behind

Plagg moaned his displeasure as Adrien’s morning routine pulled him from his desperately needed sleep. An akuma the day before had ran long into the night, using up his energy and leaving him horribly depleted, despite the copious amounts of cheese he’d eaten after they returned home.

Rather than move, Plagg lay on his pillow and waited for Adrien to scoop him up, and deposit him into a sheltered corner of his schoolbag. Once he was tucked safely away, Plagg closed his eyes, and let the rocking motion lull him back to sleep.

Noises distantly registered through the exhausted haze in Plagg’s mind. Breakfast sounds, a car engine, voices nattering and squealing, then a loud bell before all fell quiet again. Plagg sighed, finally falling into deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

He was rudely awoken when Adrien yanked his bag up, heedless of Plagg’s needs, as he called out to his classmates. He was then jostled violently about as Adrien ran after his friends, eager to join them over the lunch break.

Biting out bitter curses, Plagg held on to the lining inside the bag. Books, pens, and other miscellaneous flotsam knocked him from side to side, then squished him when they landed with a thud. Adrien had thrown his bag down in his hurry to join his classmates for a game.

Plagg rolled his eyes as he extracted himself from the debris inside the bag. He tumbled out with an undignified yelp, falling out of the bag onto grass and into bright sunlight. He sat up to dust himself off. Looking around, he saw they were in a park - green grass, leafy trees, children squealing incessantly as they ran around after a ball. 

Turning his nose up, Plagg padded in a circle where he had fallen, then curled up in the warm sunshine. The air was fresh and cool, the sun a welcome warmth, and the earth was giving off a comfortable heat. Once again, Plagg drifted into sleep.

 

* * *

 

A chill pulled Plagg from his nap. He blinked, then sat up to look around. The afternoon shadows had lengthened, and the sun was just beginning its descent toward the horizon. Plagg was now resting in the shade of the trees, alone, and with no bag to seek refuge in.

‘What the hell?’ he demanded, aghast. ‘The Kid just left me here!’

Plagg flew up above the trees, shading his eyes with one arm as he tried to locate a familiar landmark. Nothing looked familiar. That was the major drawback to constantly riding around inside Adrien’s bag - he couldn’t see anything, so there was no way for him to orient himself, or find his way home. Plagg hoped Papillon would take the day off, at least until he was reunited with Adrien.

 _Ooh, the things I’ll say to him then_ , Plagg seethed. 

He decided to wait for Adrien to realise he was missing, and come back to fetch him. Plagg was not about to waste any more effort, and preferred sleep over thankless searching. So, he settled on a tree branch still bathed in sunlight, and watched the front gates of the park through eyes that drooped lower and lower.

 

* * *

 

Church bells roused him, announcing the time was four in the afternoon. Plagg rubbed the crust from his eyes, and looked about expectantly. Still, there was no sign of Adrien. Scowling heavily, he crossed his arms and continued to wait.

It was boring. He had nothing to entertain himself with, he didn’t need any more sleep, he had nothing to eat, and there was no one to talk with. 

A pigeon landed on the far end of his branch, cooing mindlessly. The sound grated on Plagg’s last nerve. With a mighty roar, he lunged toward the bird, scaring it so badly, it scrambled to get away from him, almost falling from its perch.

Plagg cackled at its clumsiness, then looked around for another bird. There were no more pigeons, but a human couple strolled beneath the foliage, arm in arm, and gazing dreamily into each other’s eyes.

 _Bleh_ , Plagg thought, poking his tongue out.

An idea struck. With a wicked leer, Plagg snuck up behind the pair and pinched one of them on the backside. The aggrieved individual turned on the other, and struck them across the cheek with a resounding slap.

‘How dare you?’ they shrieked. ‘I thought you were better than that.’

The other person begged for forgiveness, and an explanation in turn, utterly bemused. They both walked off at a brisk pace, one in an angry huff, the other trying desperately to figure out what happened.

Plagg’s cheeks puffed up, before laughter burst out hard and loud. He retreated into the branches, waiting for another victim to wander by. After a few minutes, three small children happened by, their parents talking idly on a park bench not far away.

Positioning himself in a bush behind the small humans, Plagg  _oooh_ ed and  _whoo_ d eerily.  The tiny humans stiffened, then ran shrieking to their parents, babbling about ghosts and haunted shrubbery. Their parents dismissed their claims without thought, waving them away carelessly, mush to the children’s disbelief. 

Seeing no other possible prank victims, or Adrien, Plagg decided to venture out on his own. He flew to the Eiffel Tower in an attempt to get his bearings, but again, saw no familiar landmarks or places Adrien frequented. After that, he drifted aimlessly about, hoping for the best. He taunted people as he travelled, knocking off hats on a windless street, trailing his paw up the back of someone’s neck, whispering into people’s ears, and pulling faces behind people when they stopped to examine their reflections in shop windows. He had great fun.

Eventually, a wonderful aroma caught his attention. Following his nose, he found himself in front of a building he recognised. It was the bakery where Adrien’s Not Crush lived. Looking through the window, he saw Tikki’s wielder behind the counter, smiling vacantly at an older guy in front of her.

Plagg watched with interest as she tried to get the guy to either leave or buy something. But, the man was too dimwitted to catch the cues she tossed out so liberally. He leaned across the counter on his elbow, smiling winningly. Not Crush leaned back, her hands up, a nerve making her eyebrow twitch.

With an evil grin, Plagg continued to watch, waiting for her to do something. He was not disappointed. Finally having endured enough, Not Crush scowled at the man, put her hands on her hips, and pointed at the door. When the man thought she was just being coy, she rounded the counter, and put him in an arm bar so swiftly and strongly, he yelped like a kicked puppy. Her hold secure, Not Crush pushed the man out the door, then slammed it in his face. 

Plagg took the opportunity to take a little extra revenge on Tikki’s behalf. He crept up behind the man, then bit him as hard as he could on the rear. The man jumped a foot in the air with an unexpectedly high pitched shriek, then ran away as fast as he could, his hands clapped over his arse, and screaming about ghost bees.

A bell jangled as the bakery door opened behind him.

‘Plagg, what do you think you’re doing?’

Plagg perched on the external windowsill, and gazed up at Not Crush and Tikki, affecting an air of artfully contrived innocence. 

‘Oh no you don’t,’ Tikki admonished him, from her seat on her wielder’s shoulder. ‘Don’t try to act innocent now.’

Plagg’s benign smile turned sinister. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sugar Cube.’

Tikki’s eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘Get in here, now.’

Plagg spent a delightful evening gorging himself on cheese filled pastries, Tikki by his side, as they caught up on gossip. He then spent the night there, curling up on Not Crush’s chaise, silently thankful that Papillon had indeed taken the day off. Adrien was probably frantic by now, but Plagg figured he could head to school with Tikki’s wielder in the morning, and sneak into Adrien’s bag some time the following day.

He would then proceed to take Adrien on the guilt trip of the century, and score a veritable mountain of cheese as compensation.


	9. Better Be More Careful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long fight leaves our heroes exhausted and lacking in judgement

Marinette waved weakly to Sabine as she entered the bakery. She muttered a feeble excuse for her tardiness, then headed upstairs.

An akuma attack after school had taken hours for her and Chat Noir to defeat, and now it was just on sunset – much later than her usual arrival time, and an embarrassment for Ladybug.

The akuma, Icebreaker by name, was harmless enough. He just wanted veritable strangers to meet and have a good time together. However, many people objected to being trapped in a small dome of ice with someone they didn’t know.

How he had evaded her and Chat Noir for so long was a mystery. Eventually, they’d lured him in using Alya and Nino as bait. They’d had misgiving about using civilians so callously, especially Chat Noir, but Ladybug was exhausted and frustrated, while Alya was absolutely giddy at the prospect of helping her idols.

So Alya and Nino had sat on opposite ends of a park bench, exclaiming loudly how lonely they both were.

Icebreaker had swooped in, caught them up, then Ladybug and Chat Noir pounced. Her Lucky Charm snare had caught the rather innocuous villain, then Ladybug had broken his lanyard, and purified the butterfly.

The four of them exchanged a celebratory fist-bump, then they went their separate ways.

Marinette left Tikki on her desk with a handful of pilfered biscuits, then dragged her feet up to her bed.

Laying down would lead to falling asleep, and falling asleep this early meant she would wake up before the arse-crack of dawn. Heaving a much put-upon sigh, Marinette pushed open her access hatch and hoisted herself up to her balcony.

To her surprise, Chat Noir was fast asleep on the floor of the balcony, his back to her and curled up like a kitten. Marinette debated whether she ought to wake him, but then decided she didn’t have the heart. He had worked hard that afternoon.

She shook her head with a fond smile. He really was her beast friend. She sat beside him and stroked his head, taking comfort in the absent-minded motion. His hair was unexpectedly soft. She ran her fingers through it experimentally, marvelling at the silky texture.

A low rumble started in Chat Noir’s throat. With a start, she realised he was purring. She bit her lip to keep from laughing aloud.

 _So cute_ , she thought gleefully.

She withdrew her hand carefully, then ran downstairs to fetch her phone. When she returned, Marinette petted his hair again until he began purring once more. She caught the whole thing on film, her shoulders shaking with the force of suppressed laughter. Though she was careful to keep any identifying parts of herself, or her location out of the shot.

Eventually, he began to stir. Realising he was about to wake, Marinette scurried back inside before he caught her.

She held her breath as she waited for him to leave. When she heard his staff thud against the floor, and his light _hup_ of effort, she knew he was gone. She released her breath, and looked at her phone. Now that she had such incriminating evidence, what would she do with it?

She couldn’t send it to Alya. She would post it on her blog, and Chat Noir would be humiliated. Nor could she send it to Nino. He would lecture her on filming someone without their consent, then lecture her further for sending the footage on to someone else.

There was really only one person who would appreciate the humour, and be discreet enough to keep it secret. 

 

* * *

 

 

Adrien’s phone chimed with an incoming message. He yawned wide and rubbed his eyes, checking to see who the sender was.

He was pleasantly surprised to see Marinette’s name flash across the screen. He unlocked his phone and saw she had sent him a short video.

Curious, he opened the file.

His eyes bulged as his complexion turned ashen.

‘Oh, Hell,’ he moaned, beginning to feel nauseous.

Plagg looked up from his second wheel of cheese. ‘What’s up, Kid?’

Waxen, he turned the screen around and showed Plagg the video.

Plagg’s reaction was underwhelming. ‘Yeah, and?’

‘And?’ Adrien repeated, hysterically. ‘She’s figured me out. She knows who I am. She could tell someone. She could tell Alya. She could be in danger; her family could be in danger. Worse still, her whole bakery could be in danger. What do I do?’

Plagg shrugged. ‘She won’t tell. Don’t worry.’

‘How do you know?’

Plagg’s eyes darted from side to side. ‘Uhh, cat instincts. They’re legendary.’

‘No, they’re not,’ Adrien shrieked, pulling his hair out.

He sat down heavily on the floor, his phone laying forgotten next to him.

The phone chimed again. Blanching, he saw it was another message from Marinette.

His heart beating much too fast, he opened the incoming message.

_Can you believe that dork fell asleep on my balcony? What a knucklehead. Also, do you know the answer to question fourteen on Madame Mendeleiev’s homework problems?_

Adrien’s breath caught before leaving him with a whoosh. He fell back against the floor, immensely relieved.

‘She doesn’t know. Thank goodness.’

‘Yeah, thank goodness,’ Plagg grumbled. ‘We can’t have you two making things easy for yourselves, can we?’

Adrien lifted his head from the floor. ‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

Adrien collapsed once more, a relieved sigh exiting his frame gustily. ‘What a day.’


	10. Kiss and Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette runs an experiment with mixed results

‘And cut. That’s a wrap, people. Good job,’ announced Nino as he put his phone back in his pocket.

Marinette stepped away from Adrien, blushing furiously. Their last scene for the young filmmakers competition had been a kiss between her and Adrien, which had been exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. 

Adrien patted her shoulder. ‘Great work today, Marinette.’

‘Thanks, you too,’ she stammered, then sighed as he turned away.

Alya sidled up beside her, grinning wickedly. ‘So?’

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists over her chest, emitting a sound like a boiling tea kettle. ‘It was amazing,’ she burst out in a whisper-scream.

Alya chuckled quietly. ‘Just think, you didn’t even want to do it.’

‘If I ever say something as dumb as that again, remind me of today.’

Alya slung an arm around her shoulders as they exited the classroom, still laughing. 

 

* * *

 

It had been a busy three weeks after Nino made the announcement he was re-entering the film competition this year, but with a murder mystery story, rather than a monster flick. 

Adrien had been cast as the optimistic young detective unanimously, and all the girls in their class, except for Chloe and Sabrina, had voted for Marinette as the hard-bitten, wrongfully accused female lead. Chloe had been furious, especially since she had been cast as the villain, but after Adrien told her how well she performed, things had proceeded peacefully. 

Marinette sighed as she recalled kissing Adrien. It had been a chaste meeting of the lips, but there was something inherently intimate about being so close to someone, their face pressed gently against hers. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him properly.

Tikki sat beside her keyboard, patiently eating a biscuit while Marinette continued to fantasise. She heaved another dreamy sigh.

A boom echoed through the city.

Suddenly wrenched from her daydreaming, Marinette’s chin slipped from the heel of her hand to thump painfully against the desk.

‘What was that?’ she demanded, sitting up.

‘Sounds like Papillon has created another akuma,’ Tikki replied. ‘Let’s go.’

With a firm nod, Marinette transformed and leapt through her access hatch.

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir was already on the scene when she arrived. He stood on a rooftop, stealthily tracking the akuma from the shadows cast by chimney stacks and high walls.

‘What are we dealing with?’ Ladybug asked, approaching him from behind.

‘I’m not entirely sure. But she seems to leave people alone if they’re romantically linked,’ he replied, with a deep blush.

‘What do you mean?’

Chat Noir coughed delicately into his fist. ‘Well, if people are kissing, she walks on by without attacking. That’s all I’ve been able to make out, I mean, determine so far.’

Ladybug raised a curious eyebrow as his blush deepened.

‘Well, we’d best get this over with,’ she shrugged.

She swung to the ground, and tailed the akuma on street level, Chat Noir following a step behind, unusually quiet.

She was only a yard away when the akuma stopped, and spun on her heel. Quickly, Ladybug turned, grabbed Chat Noir’s face, and kissed him soundly on the lips. He went completely rigid, and his cheeks felt hot, even through her suit, but the akuma hummed a satisfied note, before continuing on her way.

Ladybug let go of Chat Noir, and resumed following the akuma. 

Eventually, Kissabelle was defeated, and Ladybug returned home. She flopped onto her chaise with a groan, laying her arm over her eyes. 

‘Wow, two kisses in one day. When did you turn into such a hardened flirt, Marinette?’ teased Tikki.

Marinette sat bolt upright. ‘I wasn’t flirting. I was acting, or I was making tactical decisions to distract and fool the enemy.’

‘So,’ Tikki drawled, ‘how does kissing Chat compare to kissing Adrien?’

‘There’s no comparison,’ she squawked. ‘Adrien is one hundred times better than Chat.’

Tikki squinted, looking unconvinced. ‘You’re saying there wasn’t any similarity whatsoever?’

Marinette tilted her head, confused. ‘Why would they be similar?’

Tikki shrugged and sighed in defeat. ‘I don’t know.’

Just then, Sabine called Marinette down for dinner. She gave Tikki a strange look before heading downstairs.

 

* * *

 

Marinette tried to forget Tikki’s bizarre questions, but something felt off. She remembered kissing Chat Noir on both occasions when she’d been required to do so. That incident the previous year on Valentine’s Day was the aberration, as he had not been in his right mind. But during the attack today, he’d been stiff with shock. 

She briefly worried she’d overstepped a personal boundary. Then she recalled his constant flirting, thus coming to the conclusion that Chat Noir could dish it out, but he couldn’t take it back. Apparently, he was weak in the face of a strong woman. The thought amused her greatly.

Kissing Adrien had been different. His lips had been soft and yielding, moving sweetly against her own. It was a vastly different experience, but something about it all felt the same.

_Maybe kissing is just the same, no matter who you’re with_ , she thought. 

_This might require some experimentation_. 

 

* * *

 

The following morning, Marinette decided to begin her testing on kissing - to see if kissing was truly the same motions and physical sensations no matter the individual she was engaged with. But, more specifically, if the partners involved were Adrien and Chat Noir.

As a control, she approached Nathaniel. He lifted a hand in greeting, then paused in confusion when she cupped his cheeks. Leaning in, she pressed a brief kiss to his lips, then drew back, her brow furrowed in thought.

She nodded once, then headed to the locker room, leaving an astonished Nathaniel behind her. It was remarkably similar to kissing Chat Noir, so maybe Tikki was right, and all kissing was the same, after all. Still, she needed more data.

When Adrien entered the locker room, she turned to him with a thoughtful frown. He waved and smiled at her politely, but paused as she approached him. Standing toe to toe with him, she grabbed his collar and tugged him down to her height. She then kissed him, before letting go and turning away with a considering hum, comparing the sensations. Throwing her previous dreams out the window, kissing him then had felt just like kissing Chat Noir and Nathaniel. A disappointing result. 

She would need to conduct further testing. Surely all the romantic movies she’d seen weren’t so misleading as to the magic of kissing.

 

* * *

 

Another akuma struck that afternoon while she was out dropping off a delivery for the bakery. She was on her way home when a shadow appeared around her, growing bigger and bigger.

‘Watch out,’ cried a desperate voice. 

Before she realised what was going on, Chat Noir had scooped her up and was ferrying her to the nearest rooftop. A car smashed into the place she had just been standing, metal shrieking as it skidded across the road.

Marinette watched with wide eyes as she blanched. 

‘Please be more careful when there’s an akuma around, Marinette,’ Chat Noir admonished her as he placed her feet on the roof.

‘Ok, yeah. Thanks,’ she murmured, still in shock.

She looked up at him, her arms still wrapped tightly around his neck, wondering why they wouldn’t let go. They were shaking, even as they remained locked about his person.

His expression softened. ‘It’s ok to be scared. How about I wait with you until Ladybug shows up?’

She couldn’t have that. Taking advantage of their closeness, she stood on her toes to plant a kiss on his lips. He felt just as he did last time.

Pulling back as she hummed in thought, she distractedly murmured her thanks and dashed for the rooftop access door. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but she was still faintly disappointed by the result. Shaking her head, she transformed, and met Chat Noir again as Ladybug.

They took a few hours, but finally, they thwarted Papillon’s latest creation. Instead of bumping Chat Noir’s fist, she pulled him in for a kiss. Startled at fist, he remained stiff and unresponsive for a second, before melting into the embrace. 

Ladybug drew back, confused, and hummed as she thought it over. ‘Ok, bye,’ she said, before taking off.

That threw a spanner in her works. She sat at her desk to write her data down in hard copy - the person she’d kissed, the person she was at the time, and the reactions she, or her superhero identity had elicited. 

As Marinette, her kisses were mostly met with unresponsive shock, save for the time she’d been acting with Adrien. Her conclusion was that Adrien had also been acting, and was prepared with a reaction.

That led her to conclude that kissing Marinette was not entirely a pleasant experience. She frowned. That couldn’t be right. 

She focused on her homework, then had dinner with her parents before heading out for patrol. 

She was sitting near the top of the Eiffel Tower, frowning pensively, still trying to figure out the mystery of kissing.

‘What’s wrong with my formula?’ she asked the view. ‘What am I missing?’

She was beginning to wish it wasn’t a solo night, so she could run her thoughts by Chat Noir, but perhaps this was for the best. She’d kissed him as Marinette, and to bring it up as Ladybug would give herself away. Her thoughts turned to her previous hypothesis, that kissing Marinette was less than ideal.

_But what about kissing Ladybug?_  she wondered. Sure, Chat Noir had been stiff at first, but he’d warmed up eventually. 

She made up her mind, and headed toward Agreste Manor. 

She swung from her yoyo string to dangle upside down outside Adrien’s window. Peering in, she saw him sitting at his desk, writing something down. She tapped on the pane, and waved when he spun around in his chair.

Immediately, he leapt up to let her in. ‘Ladybug, what’re you doing here?’

She flipped inside, then straightened up before him. Looking him carefully in the eye, she cupped his cheeks, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Adrien was quicker to respond than Chat Noir. He moved his lips against hers, placing his hands on her waist.

Ladybug drew back with a thoughtful hum. She gave him a firm nod, wished him a good evening, and left. 

‘So, what have you found out?’ Tikki asked after she returned home. 

Marinette frowned. ‘For some reason, kissing Ladybug is preferable to kissing Marinette. I mean, what the heck? This entire experiment was a colossal waste of time. The data’s faulty, and boys are stupid.’

‘Not just the boys,’ Tikki muttered, as Marinette got ready for bed.

 

* * *

 

Adrien watched helplessly as Ladybug’s diminishing figure blended into the night. 

‘Wow, you sure are popular,’ Plagg observed. ‘Pigtails and Ladybug both kissing you? Wow, what are the odds of that happening?’

Adrien shrugged. ‘I don’t know. They’re both acting so weird.’

‘Why don’t you think on it carefully for a while. You know, draw comparisons, and whatnot,’ suggested Plagg.

His idea was not outlandish, and Adrien desperately needed to figure this out. Something about the whole thing felt familiar and strange. As Chat Noir, he’d noticed that Marinette smelt a lot like Ladybug. As Adrien, he’d notices that Ladybug had similar idiosyncrasies to Marinette. 

Writing it all down, he discovered the patterns. The most telling thing of all though, was their behaviour. Whenever one of them kissed him, they would frown, furrow their brows, and hum as they thought. In that order. Then, without fail, they would leave.

Comprehension shot through him like a bolt of electricity. ‘Plagg, I think Marinette is Ladybug.’

‘You don’t say?!’ Plagg responded, wide eyed.

‘Yeah, and I think she’s figured out who I am too. Plagg, this is the greatest moment of my life.’ 

 

* * *

 

Marinette entered the school the following morning feeling tired and cranky. Her sleep had been broken and restless all night, as her thoughts dwelled on how Adrien and Chat Noir seemed to prefer Ladybug over her. 

_Ridiculous. I’m the same person_ , she thought with a scowl.  _What an insult_. 

She responded curtly to greetings from her classmates, then felt bad for being rude. Nathaniel looked especially crestfallen. She would apologise at lunch, when she felt she could pass for human.

Adrien bounded into the locker room like an overeager Labrador. 

‘Good morning, Marinette,’ he cheered, coming to stand beside her.

Marinette took a deep breath, wondering why she had ever liked him. 

_Oblivious dork_ , she thought at him, spitefully. 

‘Is there something you want?’ she asked instead.

Adrien deflated a little. Looking around, he saw that Alya and Nino had herded everyone out into the courtyard. Marinette frowned at her traitorous friend’s actions. 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Adrien’s gaze dropped to the floor. He opened his mouth, then closed it again repeatedly, before reaching for her hand. Gently, he lifted it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. 

‘I know you wanted to keep out identities a secret, so I have to ask, when did you figure out I was Chat Noir?’

Marinette’s guts fell out of her torso to tangle around inside her legs. She felt the blood drain from her face, and er eyes bulge.

‘I’m sorry to say, Milady,’ Adrien continued, ‘you gave yourself away yesterday. You acted and smelled the same every time you kissed me. It took me a while, but I put the pieces together, and I have to say, I couldn’t be happier.’

Marinette blinked. ‘Happier?’

Adrien met her eyes. ‘I’ve been in love with Ladybug since the day we met. But, I can’t deny that my feelings for Marinette have been growing steadily all this time, too.’

‘But, you acted as though you didn’t like it when I kissed you,’ she spluttered.

Adrien raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Well, if you kiss someone without warning like that, of course they’re going to be shocked.’

Marinette clamped her mouth shut. She had no defence against that reasoning.

‘So, will you go out with me?’ he asked, timidly.

Marinette heaved a much put-upon sigh. ‘I suppose.’

He grinned and held her hand tight and didn’t stop grinning all day. Marinette decided she would never undertake an experiment all alone ever again.


	11. Competition Mayhem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next Ultimate Mecha Strike tournament is on, and this time, there are two teams of two representing the school.  
> Who will be partnered with whom? What shenanigans will ensue? Find out here!  
> AKA: everybody is stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bored, and this idea has been sitting on the shelf for months. I mean that literally. It's a rough scribble on a scrap of paper on my bookshelf. I should never be left unsupervised.  
> Thanks for reading :D

It was that time of year again, the next Mecha Strike tournament fast approaching, much to the excitement of teenagers and gaming enthusiasts all across the country,

Adrien was thrilled, as this year, there was said to be some development that would benefit the players specifically. He hoped it would be unlimited moves, or beginning the bouts with full arsenals in play. He bit his lip, squirming with anticipation.

‘Calm down, please, children,’ Principal Damocles said, as he stood in front of the screens in the library. 

Half the school was in attendance, crammed into the small space and waiting with bated breath to see who would be chosen to compete.

‘As you have heard,’ Principal Damocles went on, ‘there has been a change in how the tournament will be run. Rather than having one team of two represent a school, there will be two separate teams of two competing for the ultimate prize.’

There was a collective gasp of excitement. People whispered gleefully to their friends, as the opportunity to represent their school increased. 

‘Indeed, this is a great honour,’ agreed Principal Damocles. ‘More slots means the chances of you being chosen have increased. To keep things fair, we will not automatically send last year’s representatives. They will have to earn their places, just like everyone else.’

A sad sigh filled a moment of silence. Adrien looked to his right to see Marinette hanging her head, Alya patting her soothingly on the back. He had to suppress a chuckle. Despite her theatrics, he knew she thrived on competition. She would easily earn a place on the team.

‘We will hold the qualifiers here, tomorrow afternoon after school. If you would like a chance to compete, and represent out illustrious school, put your name on the roster posted on the library door. I wish you all luck. Dismissed.’

Everyone turned to stare at the library doors. Madame Bustier was standing beside a small desk with stacks of paper piled high. She held up one sheet, displaying the neatly laid out  lines. 

‘Just write your names neatly in a slot, ‘she explained. ‘Don’t even try to enter yourself twice, ‘cause we will know, and cheaters will be automatically disqualified.’

There were some mutinous grumblings, but not many. Rather than crowd around in a disorganised rush, scurrying to put their names down, everyone lined up and patiently awaited their turn. When it was his turn, Adrien printed his name halfway down a page, then handed the pen to Nino waiting behind him. It was all very civilised. He was mildly surprised.

He waited for Nino just outside, then walked downstairs, chattering excitedly. He noticed Marinette and Alya a short distance away. Alya had declined entering the contest, but Marinette was clearly pumped.

Adrien smiled, waved goodbye to Nino, then headed home. He couldn’t wait for the following afternoon.

 

* * *

 

The next day dragged by excruciatingly slowly. Marinette tapped her pen impatiently through the last class of the day, her foot jiggling, and her lips drawn down in a heavy frown. She hadn’t expected she’d be this antsy, but she was competitive by nature, and the promise of a competition had distracted her all day. Surely, this was a new form of torture.

Finally, the last bell rang. With a delighted squeal, she swept her things into her bag and sprinted out the door. A veritable stampede followed her, the hurried footfalls of her comrades making the floor tremble. They halted outside the library, jittery and eager to prove themselves worthy. 

Principal Damocles emerged from his office, and struggled up the stairs to open the library. Everyone poured in behind him, Marinette at the fore, almost foaming at the mouth.

‘Good afternoon, students,’ he began. ‘Your names have been collected and arranged in alphabetical order. You name determines who you will be competing against in our special preliminaries.’

Marinette pouted. She wouldn’t be first, but at least she wasn’t last, either. In total, only twenty names had been submitted. Everyone was surprised, as the tournament was a big deal. Even if they lost, the competitors still appeared on the televised broadcast. Still, Marinette wasn’t complaining.

She waited with polite impatience until her name was called, then in true Marinette fashion, she obliterated her opponent mercilessly.There were stunned gasps from those few people ignorant of her skill, and smug glances from her friends and classmates. Marinette grinned, then took her seat to await her next turn.

The less skilled were whittled down quickly, until only Marinette, Max, Adrien, and Nino remained. They stood before their peers, basking in the praise of their peers and teachers.

‘Congratulations, all of you,’ beamed Principal Damocles. ‘You will all be representing our school in the Ultimate Mecha Strike tournament. Well done. We will leave it to you to decide who you will be paired with, and who will be your your bitterest rivals. Good luck.’

‘I choose Marinette,’ Adrien hollered, holding up one hand. 

Nino turned to him, an expression of utter betrayal on his face. ‘Dude.’

Adrien smiled and shrugged, sheepishly. He offered no other explanation.

Max shook his head, then led Nino away, citing the need to practice. His barely suppressed grin indicating he bore no ill will.

Marinette, however, had ceased all operations. Her brain had shut down, and moved to Barbados, leaving her to manage all operations on her own. Not a good thing. 

Adrien faced her with an embarrassed laugh. ‘Sorry about that. I just remembered that you won this thing for us last year. You’re crazy good, and I just want to be on the winning team. Also, I really enjoyed practising with you.’

Marinette’s mouth worked, but no sound came out. Rather than impersonate a koi any longer, she snapped her mouth shut and nodded. 

‘Awesome,’ he chuckled. ‘I know I kinda shanghaied you there. I hope you don’t mind being partnered with me?’

She shook her head slowly, making sure it was the gesture she wanted to make.

‘So, can I come over and practice with you?’

A silent, wide-eyed nod.

‘Excellent. How about tomorrow, if you have no other plans?’

Another slow, deliberate shake of her head. She mentally checked her calendar to make sure, but she never had much on of a Saturday, unless she was with Alya. She and Alya had deliberately avoided making plans for this very reason.

‘Tomorrow. Good,’ she agreed, with an awkward thumbs up.

Adrien nodded his acknowledgement, and patted her shoulder as he walked away, promising to be there at ten o’clock. Not too early, but not too late either. It was very considerate of him. Marinette waved goodbye with a dreamy smile.

 

* * *

 

Adrien woke up bright and early, eagerly awaiting the time when he could head to Marinette’s place. He went through his morning routine, had breakfast, then retreated to his room inconspicuously. He knew Gabriel would never let him out for something as trivial as a video game, so when it was time to leave, he transformed, and leapt out the window.

He detransformed in a dark, secluded alcove, then strode away like he’d always been there. Whistling nonchalantly, he approached the bakery door, and entered like a regular person, on regular business.

‘Good morning Adrien,’ chirped Sabine from behind the counter. ‘Marinette said you would be dropping by. She’s upstairs, waiting for you.’

‘Thanks, Madame Cheng,’ he replied, walking briskly by. ‘Hello, Monsieur Dupain,’ he called into the kitchen as he passed.

‘Call me Dad,’ Tom told him, cheerfully.

Adrien laughed aloud, and let himself into the stairwell. Marinette was waiting in her living room, a bottle of peach soda in each hand. She offered him one with a smile, and led the way to her room.

Looking around curiously, Adrien was surprised, and a little disappointed, to see that she had removed all the photos of him from her walls. She’d told him she was simply into fashion, but he’d been rather flattered by the idea that she might have a crush on him. He allowed himself a small scowl when her back was turned, silently cursing Jagged Stone for the misleading interpretation of the photos. 

Marinette rolled two chairs in front of her monitor and took a seat. Adrien planted himself gracelessly in the other, and felt a small thrill at her giggle. Marinette had a cute laugh and a sweet smile. Everyone thought so. It was common knowledge.

They began playing, at first just the two of them. She pummelled him every time. Despite her adorableness, Adrien quickly grew tired of losing. He then suggested playing against other opponents online. He didn’t want to be the only one to feel the bitter sting of defeat.

Tom or Sabine would come in occasionally, offering plates of food. Before Marinette could dismiss them, Adrien told them to leave the offerings on the floor, and they would eat after they’d won their current round.

Taking a break at midday, Adrien offered to collect the latest snack. The quiche smelled wonderful, and he inhaled deeply. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten so richly. 

As he resumed his seat, he noticed a lump of red wool. Curiosity piqued, he put the plates down, and picked up the misshapen red ball. Upon closer examination, he saw it was a toy, painstakingly hand-knitted, and its features detailed in blue, black, and white thread. He turned it over in his hands, realising it looked rather a lot like Plagg. It looked like Marinette had knitted a kwami - a red one, with black spots, blue eyes, and a little fanned tail.

‘Hey, Marinette, what’s this?’ he asked, holding the toy up.

She turned to him expectantly, then she blanched. With wide eyes, she snatched the toy back, and tossed it under the desk.

‘That? It’s nothing, just a little creature I made up with my own imagination. It’s pretty embarrassing. Forget you saw it.’

Adrien stared at her thoughtfully for a long moment. It really did look like a kwami, from its bulbous little head, to its uselessly tiny arms… Marinette had a heck of an imagination.

He shrugged and picked up his fork. ‘This is delicious,’ he exclaimed, with his mouth full.

In his shirt, Plagg made a noise partway between a snort and a laugh. Marinette looked at him in surprise. He covered the sound by putting his hand over his mouth and coughing. 

‘Sorry. Just a little excited.’

Marinette regarded him dubiously for a moment, then shrugged, and began to eat her own share. 

After that, Adrien spent a wonderful afternoon playing games and eating delicious food. He went home happy and sated, climbing in his window with Gabriel none the wiser.

It had been a great day.


	12. Too Much Wine is a Bad Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversing at a party, Marinette learns something interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grown up AU, where the kids are stupid and drunk.

Marinette excused herself from the conversation, and headed toward the back door. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the subject under discussion, but she was hot and the alcohol made her head spin.

Nino had invited everyone in their old class, and a few workmates, to a party at his house to celebrate the long weekend. Everyone was having a great time; the music was loud, the talk was louder, and alcoholic beverages were plentiful.

But Marinette needed some fresh air. Inside was too noisy, the odour of wine and spirits strong, and all those bodies crammed into such a small space made her feel claustrophobic. She’d also had too much wine. 

Gulping in a deep lungful as she stepped outside, Marinette leaned against the railing on the balcony, and breathed. A soft sob startled her. Turning around, she saw Adrien standing in a dark corner by the doors, leaning against the wall, and staring mournfully into his empty cup.

‘Adrien?’ she asked, ‘are you ok?’

He raised his head slowly, his desolate expression completely at odds with the festive air inside. ‘Marinette, when did you get here?’

Suppressing the hurt that he hadn’t noticed her arrival, she waved him forward. ‘I’ve been here since six-thirty,’ she replied, as he came to stand beside her. 

She had noticed him the moment she’d walked in. He’d been standing with Nino and a group of men she didn’t recognise, talking and laughing like they hadn’t a care in the world. She wondered what could have brought him down so dramatically.

When he remained silent, Marinette placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. He looked morosely into the darkness, his elbows resting on the railing, and one leg hooked absently over the other. He posed like a model, even when drunk.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ she asked.

Adrien shook his head, even as great tears welled up and spilled. Alarmed, Marinette wiped his cheeks with her sleeve, making frantic shushing sounds.

His lip wobbled. ‘Why doesn’t she love me?’ he wailed, his head thrown back as more tears dripped from his chin.

Flummoxed, Marinette tilted her head. ‘Who doesn’t love you?’ she enquired, even as her chest clenched painfully.

Even though several years had passed since their school days, Marinette still laboured under a heavy crush. She had learned to manage her emotions, and her reactions, but her love for him had not dimmed one iota.

‘Ladybug,’ Adrien cried, crushing his plastic cup in his fist. 

Marinette was astounded. ‘She does like you,’ she argued, automatically.

‘Then why won’t she give me the time of day?’

Hopelessly perplexed, Marinette shook her head. She had no idea Adrien felt so strongly for her alter ego. ‘I’m sure if you spent some time with her - ‘

‘I spend lots of time with her,’ Adrien interrupted her, vehemently.

Marinette almost dropped her cup. ‘What do you mean? You two have only met a handful of times, right?’

He was shaking his head. ‘We spend lots of time together. She’s my best friend, my partner. She means everything to me, and yet she doesn’t ever notice me.’

Marinette’s brain had stalled. She shook her head, trying to clear it, but she just made herself dizzy. Steadying herself on the railing with both hands, sacrificing her cup in doing so, Marinette regained her balance. 

‘What do you mean by “partner?”‘ she asked.

Suddenly, his spine stiffened. With wide eyes, Adrien turned toward her. ‘Forget what I just said,’ he begged.

‘No. Come on now, Adrien. Explain yourself.’

‘No, I don’t think I will.’

Marinette frowned, the pieces gradually coming together. After a tense moment with her thinking carefully, and Adrien’s eyes darting around as he looked for an escape route, she reached her conclusion.

‘You’re Chat Noir,’ she declared in an accusatory tone.

He jumped forward, pressing one hand over her mouth, the other resting a finger against his lips as he shushed her. ‘Keep it down. Do you want the whole of Paris to hear?’

Marinette swiped his hand away impatiently. ‘For pity’s sake, Kitty. How could you let your identity slip like that, and to a civilian, no less? Of all the stupid, careless, irresponsible things.’

Adrien drew back, flushed with shame. ‘Sorry, Milady. Wait.’

Marinette held her hands up, as if the gesture could force him to forget what he’d just learnt. ‘No, I’m not. I’m not Ladybug, that’s ridiculous. I’m too clumsy, and madly in love with you. Ladybug doesn’t love you, remember? That’s why you’re out here in the first place.’

Adrien paused, considering her words. Tapping a finger against his lips, he said, ‘no, I’m pretty sure I’m right.’

‘Well, you’re feline instincts are on the fritz.’

‘You called me Kitty,’ he added, thoughtfully.

‘Everyone calls you that.’

He was shaking his head, frowning as he thought about it. ‘No, I’m sure. You’re Ladybug, and you don’t love me,’ he finished, accusingly. ‘Why not?’

‘Because you’re a… a… poo poo doo doo head,’ Marinette cried, stomping her foot. ‘I’ve been in love with you for years, but you never noticed me, either.’

Adrien held his hands up. ‘Wait, I’m confused. You loved me for years, but you never loved me?’

‘That’s right, and I could say the same of you.’

He held his head as he shook it, apparently overwhelmed. ‘I’m too drunk for this.’

‘Me too,’ admitted Marinette. ‘I’m going to get some water. You want some?’

‘Yes please.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'd forgotten the entire conversation by morning. All they remembered was waking up in each other's arms the following morning, and the acute embarrassment that followed. Their friends still tease them.


	13. The Worst Villain Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another instalment of the Incompetent Villain, Chat Noir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Messing-with-minds, who has waited patiently for this for ages.  
> I have decided to continue this fic as a whole, and separate entity. I'll leave these as they are, because I don't know how deleting a chapter will affect the ones that come after it. It's also stupidly hot, and I have a cold, so things might take a while. I apologise for my lack of motivation, and promise to get things rolling when everything feels better.  
> Thank you for your understanding.

Ladybug returned home and detransformed as she slid through her rooftop access hatch. She sighed as she flopped against her pillows, willing away the annoyance engendered by Chat Noir.

‘If I didn’t know any better,’ began Tikki, as she landed on Marinette’s stomach, ‘I’d say he was trying to impress someone.’

‘Claiming he’s more dangerous than Papillon is not going to impress anyone,’ Marinette replied, rolling her eyes.

‘He was certainly playing up his villainousness,’ Tikki observed. ‘If not to impress someone, then why?’

Marinette stuck her tongue out in an exaggerated gag. Chat Noir had been going out of his way to make a nuisance of himself in recent days, scratching up public gardens, knocking flowerpots from window boxes, and sitting on rooftops to yowl loudly, late into the night. Everyone was heartily sick of him, especially her.

‘Maybe it’s a new kind of war tactic,’ suggested Marinette. ‘If he can wear me down, and intimidate me, the battle’s already won.’

‘Hm, don’t like that,’ Tikki mumbled.

‘I’m sure he’ll calm down, once he realises it’s not going to work. I’ve been running rings around him since year dot. He’s never getting my Miraculous.’

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir was once again sitting atop Notre Dame, staring at the Dupain-Cheng bakery. The sweet, indomitable Marinette was in there, and she did not fear him. She wasn’t even a little bit impressed. It galled him.

Every time he went out to terrorise the city, he made sure to do so in a place she was likely to be. That part of the plan had been a success, but whenever he saw her, Marinette’s eyes were narrowed, her arms were crossed, and her foot tapped. All clear signs of annoyance.

Desperate to get more than a glare, Chat Noir stepped up his game. However, nothing seemed to impress the stubborn girl. 

Chat Noir frowned at the bakery, then turned away. He would think more on this at home. 

 

* * *

 

Marinette yawned as she walked, stretching her arms overhead to hear a satisfying click in her back. She was on her way to the Trocadéro Esplanade to get some early-morning sketching done. She’d had to push herself to get out of bed, but as she breathed in the crisp morning air, she knew it would be worth it.

With Tikki asleep in her purse, Marinette sat on the steps before the Eiffel Tower, and waited for inspiration to strike. She got lost in her own mind, scribbling whatever ideas came to her smoothly. She had filled a dozen pages when exclamations of surprise, and shouts pulled her back into reality.

Looking up, she watched in mild confusion as people ran in all directions, until there was no one left. Belatedly realising there may be an akuma, she stood up, casting about for a place to transform.

A shadowy figure dropped down in front of her.

‘Good morning, Mademoiselle,’ purred Chat Noir, doubled over in a bow.

 _You have got to be kidding me_ , she thought, rolling her eyes.

Without warning, Chat Noir darted in close and scooped her up. Marinette squawked as her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. Chat Noir winked at her, still with that insufferable smirk.

‘Didn’t take you for the clingy type,’ he said, as he bounded up to the rooftops.

‘It’s self-preservation, nothing more,’ she retorted. ‘Please don’t flatter yourself.’

He pouted. Briefly, she wondered if she ought to feel sorry for hurting his feelings, but the thought was instantly dismissed when he suddenly dropped several stories .

He cackled at Marinette’s shriek, until she yanked savagely on one of his kitty ears, with a fierce scowl. 

‘Put me down, this instant.’

Reluctantly, he obeyed, looking appropriately shamefaced. He held his arms behind his back, and scuffed his toe on the roof they stood on.

Marinette put her hands on her hips. ‘Would you care to explain yourself, Chat Noir?’

He looked down, mumbling into his chest.

‘What was that?’ she asked, leaning forward, and cupping her ear.

‘I said, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.’

Marinette harrumphed. ‘Then what were you intending?’

‘Nothing, I swear. I wasn’t thinking. I just did it. I don’t know what came over me.’

She regarded him for a long moment, watching him squirm. 

‘You made me drop my sketchbook.’

Chat Noir gasped, his eyes finally coming up to meet hers. Holding his hands up, he said, ‘wait here. I’ll be right back.’

With that, he took off, back the way they’d come.

‘Where does he expect a civilian to go?’ asked Tikki, as she stuck her head out of the purse. ‘There’s no way down from here.’

Marinette just sighed, and shook her head.

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir found Marinette’s book and pencil, exhaling loudly in relief. He was certain she would skin him alive if it had been lost. Gathering them up, he tucked them into the back of his belt, and sprinted back to Marinette.

He was being honest when he told her he didn’t know why he’d just picked her up and ran off. He had no impulse control when he was in costume, which was the problem. He just did whatever silly whim flitted through his mind without worrying about the consequences.

Until he saw her face. She was pale, her eyes larger than he’d ever seen, and her arms gripping him tight as she held on for dear life. He wanted her to be awed by him, but not terrified. He would have to find some way to make it up to her. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to apologise to anyone.

Gabriel’s and Chloe’s solution was to throw money at the problem, hoping expensive gifts would make up for their shortcomings. However, he had always felt such gestures were insincere, and more like a bribe. He suspected Marinette would feel similarly.

Arriving where he’d left her, Chat Noir was relieved to see Marinette was still there, waiting with polite impatience. He landed with a thud, announcing his presence as subtly as he could, without giving her another fright. She turned to him, one brow raised, with her arms crossed.

Contrite, Chat Noir held out her belongings. ‘They’re not damaged.’

Marinette accepted them, holding her book against her chest. Chat Noir had the sudden desire to be in the book’s place. Shaking the strange thought away, he fished for something to say, but nothing came to him.

‘Just take me down to the street,’ Marinette ordered, exasperated.

Disheartened, Chat Noir did as instructed. He gently lifted her up, and lowered them at a sedate pace down his staff, until her feet were on the ground once more. With a curt nod, she was walking away from him.

Rather than watch her diminishing figure, Chat Noir raced home. He would have to think of some way to apologise properly.


	14. A Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette confessed to Adrien, and no one is coping well.

Adrien felt awful. Marinette had just poured her heart out to him, and he’d had to callously stomp it into the ground. She stuttered to a halt after he admitted to liking someone else, her eyes wide and wet.

‘May I ask who?’ she enquired, in a barely audible voice.

Adrien rubbed his neck as his eyes drifted to the other side of the empty courtyard. ‘Ladybug,’ he replied, just as quietly. 

It was embarrassing to admit his crush aloud - he knew how ridiculous it sounded, like some silly fan-boy infatuation, but she didn’t know he was really Chat Noir. There were more to his feelings than anyone realised, even Ladybug herself. 

Marinette, however, just nodded as if his emotions were perfectly reasonable and justified. 

‘She’s very lucky,’ she told him, before walking away.

Adrien watched her go, one hand outstretched as if he could take the hurt back. 

 

* * *

 

Marinette returned home, pleading a ferocious headache to fend off her parents, before excusing herself to her room. Once the trapdoor was securely closed behind her, Marinette’s knees buckled, and great tears streamed down her cheeks.

Tikki stroked her hair, murmuring soft shushing sounds, while she wept into her hands. She lay on the floor until the sun sank below the horizon, too dejected to even climb onto the chaise to cry comfortably. 

It was dark when she finally looked up, her eyes swollen and bloodshot. Wordlessly, she stood up, and carefully removed Adrien’s pictures from her wall, and other various hiding places. Tikki watched on, in silent vigil, as Marinette fare-welled her first love.

Once the photos and magazine cut-outs were gathered, Marinette dumped them all in her waste basket, tied the bag, and carried it out to the main garbage bin on the curb. The sanitation workers would take all evidence of her first crush away come the new day. It would be a chance for her to start afresh. 

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir leapt over the rooftops, trying to outrun his guilt. Marinette was a good person, who didn’t deserve to have her heart broken, least of all by him. 

Intellectually, he knew it would have come to this at some point. Marinette liked him, but he liked someone else. It was inevitable. But the look on her face haunted him, even though she made a valiant attempt to hide the depths of her pain. 

So, Chat Noir ran. But it dogged his every step, until by accident, or subconscious desire, he found himself standing on a rooftop overlooking Marinette’s balcony. 

The lanterns were dark, but her bedroom lights were on. He dithered for a long moment, wondering if it would be morally wrong to check in on her. His indecision was his undoing, as Marinette pushed open a window and saw him standing there, just staring like a common brute. However, she waved to him, beckoning him inside. Fear of offending her compelled him to obey.

 

* * *

 

Marinette gave her room a thorough clean, dusting, sweeping, and taking her laundry down to be washed. It was cathartic, removing every trace of her childish infatuation, including her desktop background. In its place was a recent picture of her and Alya, arms about each other, and grinning like carefree youths.

Feeling older, and a little careworn, Marinette straightened the items on her desk. She put her sewing supplies back in their compartments, the little bits of miscellaneous flotsam went into the bin, and her pens went into their holder. 

She looked up at her window, deciding to let in some fresh air, and let her room exhale the residual traces of her childhood. As she pushed the pane open, she saw Chat Noir standing on a building on the other side of the road, just staring into space.

Leaning over her desk, she waved to catch his attention. She saw the moment he noticed her. His whole body jerked to attention, but he made no other move to leave or come closer. Curious and concerned, she beckoned him over. Maybe if they talked, she could ease the pressure building in her chest. She had ignored the need to vent since she began cleaning, and now she was ready to burst. Furthermore, Chat Noir looked like he needed someone to talk to as well.

Like they say, misery loves company.

He vaulted over, then rapped politely on her hatch.

‘It’s open,’ she called, in muted tones. Tikki phased through the floor below her bed to hide in the kitchen, and undoubtedly gorge on biscuits

Chat Noir levered the hatch open, and dropped onto her bed, before leaping down to land in front of her with feline grace.

‘Good evening, Mademoiselle Marinette. How are you this fine evening?’ he asked, with a gallant bow.

Marinette shrugged halfheartedly with one shoulder. ‘I’ve been better. You?’

He sobered immediately. ‘About the same.’

She gestured to her chaise and he sat, resting his hands between his knees, and his gaze falling to the floor.

‘You want something to eat?’ she asked.

Chat Noir shook his head. ‘No, thank you.’

He patted the place beside him, so she sat, adopting the same pose.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he enquired, sounding genuinely concerned.

Touched by his sincerity, she leaned against him to rest her head on his shoulder. 

‘I told the boy I liked that I had feelings for him.’

‘Oh. I guess it didn’t go well.’

Chat Noir’s voice took on a strained quality, but she suspected it was because it was clear where her story was going, and he felt sorry for her. She appreciated his empathy, and patience as she resumed her narrative.

‘Yup. He said that he couldn’t return my feelings, since he liked someone else. He was really polite, and wasn’t cruel at all, but it still hurts.’

Chat Noir picked up her hand to stroke it soothingly. ‘So, who does this fool like?’

Marinette huffed a weak laugh. It was just like him to think poorly of someone who hurt a friend, even a mere acquaintance like herself. He was loyal, and steadfast, which made him an excellent partner and confidant. She owed him her life, dozens of times over.

‘That’s the real kicker,’ she replied. ‘He likes Ladybug, which sucks because I am Ladybug, but I can’t tell him that, can I?’

Chat Noir stiffened, and seemed to stop breathing. Puzzled, Marinette sat up to look at him, thinking over what she’d just said.

‘Oh dear. Well, nothing to be done about it now. Surprise, I guess.’

Chat Noir pointed at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

‘Ladybug?’ he finally wheezed.

Marinette’s expression fell. ‘Come on, it’s not that hard to believe, is it?’

Chat Noir shook his head vociferously, before pulling her into a bone crushing hug. ‘Thank you for confiding in me, even if it was by accident.’

Marinette patted his back and sniffled, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

‘Thank you for being here, Chaton.’

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir stayed with Marinette until she fell asleep, tear tracks still glistening on her cheeks. He felt absolutely wretched as he tucked a blanket over her, and climbed out of the hatch. 

He raced home, once again failing to outrun his own emotions. 

He detransformed the moment he was back in his room, an unimpressed Plagg spiralling out of the ring. 

‘You’re up the creek now,’ Plagg observed, humourlessly.

‘No freaking duh.’ Adrien began pulling his hair in distress.

‘So, what are you going to do?’

‘Nothing. Marinette can never find out who I am. She’ll never forgive me.’

‘That’s not a solution.’

‘It’s all I’ve got. Besides, I’m tired, and it’s late. I’m going to bed. Maybe something will come to me in my sleep.’

With that, Adrien ignored Plagg’s meaningful glares, and prepared for bed, desperately hoping he could think of something to say to Marinette the next morning.

 

* * *

 

For once, Marinette was early to school. She sat in the classroom, waiting for her friends to arrive, and silently hoped Adrien would not be the next person to walk through the door.

Adrien came in five minutes later, alone and dispirited. He took his place, then after a moment, turned and knelt on his bench to speak with her.

‘I really am sorry about yesterday,’ he began.

Marinette did not want to do this right now. It felt like she had only just stopped crying. ‘I know, me too. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that.’

Adrien shook his head as his mouth worked soundlessly, reminiscent of Chat Noir. Unlike Chat Noir, words seemed to fail Adrien completely.

‘For Christ’s sake,’ exclaimed a familiar voice.

Plagg floated out of Adrien’s breast pocket to glare at him, before spinning to face Marinette. 

“He likes you, you like him. Work it out.’

‘Plagg,’ Tikki said, in a reprimanding tone. She continued to scold him, but her lectures went unheard by Marinette and Adrien.

Marinette stared at Adrien, too shocked to process the revelation. He stared back, looking increasingly guilty.

‘Surprise, I guess.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That night, they had a long and serious talk instead of running a patrol. They assured each other that their feelings stemmed from respect and admiration of their inherent qualities, rather than superficial reasons like fame and appearance. Adrien blushed when Marinette told him she fell in love with him because of his kindness. Marinette's heart fluttered when Adrien admitted to admiring her bravery and dedication, something that transferred easily to her mundane life. They were both surprised they didn't make the connection sooner, and eventually agreed to blame it on the magic of the Miraculous (it wasn't the Miraculous).  
> They tentatively agreed to a romantic relationship, as long as it didn't impact their teamwork (Marinette), and they could spend time together getting to know each other regularly (Adrien).  
> It was a bumpy start, but they'll be fine.   
> Plagg and Tikki are just relieved the angst is over with.


	15. Unknown Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette receives a message from an unknown number while at work.   
> Seeing an opportunity most can only dream of, she takes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Strangers AU.   
> Marinette has never met Adrien Agreste, and he is dating Lila Rossi.

Marinette was at her desk in the shared studio at work, scribbling up new ideas for the summer fashion show. The seasonal warmth had inspired her, and she was on a roll, churning out designs at a great rate of knots. She was pleased with her progress, appreciative that she could get her work done without interruption while the other designers were out at lunch.

Her phone chimed with an incoming message.

_So much for uninterrupted_ , she thought.

She plucked her phone from her bag to examine the screen. It was a text from an unknown number. Mildly curious, she unlocked her phone.

**Dude, you’ve got to help me** , pleaded the sender.

Marinette cocked an eyebrow. Channelling her inner dude-bro, she replied.

**Sure, Bro. Wassup?**

**You have got to help me break up with her. It’s out of control.**

Both of Marinette’s brows shot into her hairline.

**What has she been doing?**  she sent back, cautiously.

**You know what she’s been doing. That girl is psycho.**

Instantly, Marinette went on high alert. It was common knowledge that men who described their partners as “Psychotic” were simply looking for a reason to break up with them, or were hiding something more sinister. 

**Well, dude, I’m not in your position** , she returned, warily.

It was a couple of minutes before her mystery messenger replied.

**She’s demanding, controlling, jealous, possessive, and just high maintenance. Her narcissistic personality disorder is exhausting, and she ran across a busy road when she felt I wasn’t paying her enough attention. And have I told you she’s a compulsive liar?**

Feeling sorry for her hapless pen-pal, Marinette decided to take pity on the poor soul. She began typing. **I suggest you be honest with her. It’s the only decent thing you can do. If you don’t love her anymore, let her go so you can both move on.**  

**What kind of rubbish advice is that? She’s talking about marriage, man. Hinting at rings, and pointing out dresses she thinks she’ll look absolutely stunning in. Not that she wouldn’t. She’s an incredibly attractive woman. But I don’t feel that strongly about her anymore. I feel trapped.**

Marinette’s patience evaporated instantly.  **Look, you whiny piss-baby. If you don’t love her, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship with her. To lead her on would be cruel, and cowardly of you. Man the hell up.**

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Rather than wait, Marinette returned to her work, furiously sketching out her unreasonable amount of ire caused by the unknown number. Her workmates reentered the studio, waving cheerfully as they walked by, but quickly moved on when they saw her scowling at her pages.

The unknown number sent her another text an hour later, apparently contrite.

**I’m sorry, Man. You’re right. I should talk to her, despite how hard she’s been making that recently. I think, deep down, she knows we’re not working, and has been avoiding the subject. Are you busy right now? I could really use someone to talk to, face to face.**

Marinette frowned at her phone, trying to figure out if he was sincere.  **It’s not me you need to apologise to. Sorry, no. I’m at work. Maybe later?**

There was another lengthy silence, in which Marinette returned to her sketches, feeling calmer than she had a few minutes ago.

**When did you get a day job?**

Marinette nearly inhaled her tongue.  _What kind of life do these people lead?_

**Last week** , she sent back, just to mess with him.

**No way! And you didn’t tell me? What are you doing?**

**Fashion design** , she replied, honestly

**Haha, very funny. You seriously had me going there. So, are you free to meet later or not?**

**No.**

**What? But you said…**

Finally, Marinette decided she had tormented the guy long enough.  **Dude, I’m not meeting a stranger to listen to him whine about his neurotic soon-to-be ex.**  

**What? Stranger?**

**You have the wrong number, buddy.**

He didn’t text back.

_Something I said?_  Marinette wondered, before going back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many years ago, I got a text from some rando asking me to back them up in a lie. I told the guy he was on his own, implying that he had made his bed, and now he could lay in it. He sent back an appalled reply, begging me to cover his arse, to which I replied they had the wrong number. I never heard back. I assumed it was a guy trying to get out of trouble for cheating on his GF, but I could be wrong. It was a long time ago, after all.  
> I should have gotten more info out of them. It would have made for a great story to tell.


	16. Unknown Number - The Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien decides to take his mystery texter's advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the previous story, from Adrien's perspective.

Adrien lowered his head until it thudded against the desk, raised it a couple of centimetres, then let it drop again. He repeated the process until someone cleared their throat pointedly in front of him.

Looking up, he saw Nathalie frowning down at him. 

‘Your father would like to know if you are done with the financial reports, yet.’

With a sigh, he obediently handed over a sheaf of papers. Nathalie nodded once, took the proffered paperwork, and walked away.

Adrien was currently in the process of transferring from modelling to an administrative role at  _Gabriel’s_ , and his father was not pleased. He disapproved of the change, repeatedly telling Adrien his skill lay in modelling, not numbers. As if to prove his point, he made sure Adrien was burdened with every piece of financial material, no matter how inconsequential, hoping to bully him back into his former position with unnecessary paperwork.

Mutinously, Adrien persisted in his new role, determined to put his business degree to use. Furthermore, it was immensely gratifying to prove himself a worthy, and intelligent, member of staff. For too long, people had dismissed him as a vapid, stereotypical model, always talking down to him, or rolling their eyes when they thought he wouldn’t notice. But he did, and it hurt. He was going to prove them all wrong.

But today was not that day. He was embarrassed beyond belief that he had sent such personal texts to a stranger, venting about his sorry romantic life, and mildly offended that they had not been at all sympathetic to his situation. His ego was left smarting after their reprimand, which was only worsened by the fact that they were right. He had to break things off with Lila, but he was afraid to.

Lila was unpredictable at best, while strident and dramatic at worst. Everything he told his unintentional recipient was true - Lila was demanding, spoiled, and would tell him anything she thought he wanted to hear, as long as it benefited her somehow. And if she thought he was spending too much time with other people, or if she saw him so much as speak to another woman, she would cry, accuse him of cheating, or try to fight the other woman. Sometimes, all three at once.

She humiliated him publicly on a regular basis, and he no longer knew how to deal with her histrionics. He found her company exhausting, and thinking about spending time with her made him anxious. It was beyond time he broke up with her, but he was worried that when he did, she would do something regrettable, like torch his car, or run to the presses with tales of woe. Lila did so love attention.

_Mystery Texter was right_ , he thought, miserably. I _need to man up_.

Extracting his phone from a drawer, he briefly considered texting Nino, but the memory of his last attempt haunted him. Furthermore, Nino would tell him the same thing Mystery Texter did, only nicer.

Sighing in resignation, he called Lila instead. He cringed when she answered, her voice thundering down the line.

‘Adrien, my darling. To what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘I was just wondering if you would like to meet up tonight?’

‘Oh, did you want to take me out for dinner?’ she purred.

Ignoring the suggestive lilt in her voice, he replied, ‘I was thinking dinner at your place. I’ll pick something up on the way over. Was there anything you wanted in particular?’

‘Just you, my honey-bear.’

He winced. He’d always loathed that pet name. ‘Mexican it is,’ he decided, just to needle her.

‘Ugh, no. Bring me Italian, or don’t bother coming.’

‘Yes, Dear. I’ll see you at six.’

‘See you then, Lover,’ she breathed.

Adrien hung up before she could turn the conversation into something grossly inappropriate for the workplace. His stomach twisted, but at least he’d wrangled her into spending the evening at her place, where she could scream in private, and he could make a quick escape.

 

* * *

 

Adrien rang Lila's doorbell, then waited patiently on the stoop for her to answer. Lila’s parents had bought her a townhouse in the city, with a charming stone facade overlooking a high end esplanade, and surrounded by only the most affluent neighbours. Lila would accept nothing less.

She answered the door wearing a long, silk negligee, the very image of seduction. Adrien would bet she was wearing very little underneath. 

Pushing the thought aside, he help up a bag carrying their dinner.

‘Italian, as ordered.’

‘Oh, you,’ she returned, slapping him teasingly on the arm.

He followed her inside, then broke off for the kitchen while she continued on to the dining room, expecting to be waited upon. As he transferred their meal from cheap, plastic containers to her fine dinnerware, he tried to calm his raging nerves. His gut clenched in dreadful anticipation, and his palms were sweaty, but he knew he could no longer put the break up off. He owed it to himself and her.

He brought out the plates in grand style, then returned to the kitchen to fetch wine and glasses, while Lila smiled magnanimously at his oversight. Once he was seated, he poured while she began eating.

She was persistent in her attempts to seduce him, but Adrien was long-since immune to her charms. Instead, he replied to her questions calmly, and changed the subject when she was too overt.

Finally, her patience grew thin. ‘Is there something wrong with the food?’

‘No,’ he answered, recognising the tones preceding a tantrum.

‘Then why aren’t you answering me properly?’

“Properly” according to her, was grovelling at her feet.

‘There’s something I wanted to discuss with you,’ he told her, sounding more composed than he felt.

She raised her brows. ‘What is it?’

He took a deep breath, then looked her in the eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Lila. But I can’t do this anymore. I just don’t feel as strongly for you, as you seem to feel for me.’

‘You’re breaking up with me.’ Her tone was flat and dangerous, her eyes narrowed, and hostile.

‘Yes. I really am sorry.’

She screamed obscenities after him, hurling plates and glasses across the room as he judiciously exited her residence.

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir sprinted across the rooftops, running off the excess energy that had propelled him out of Lila’s place and all the way home. He had called for Plagg the moment he stepped though his door, and flung himself out into the night.

Even though he had built up his stamina and muscle over the last few years, he still ran until a stitch in his side forced him to stop and catch his breath. He doubled over, hands braced on his knees, as sweat dripped from his forehead.

‘Wow, Kitty. You were really moving.’

Chat Noir turned to face Ladybug as she leaned against a chimney stack.

‘Hell of a day,’ he panted, by way of explanation.

‘You want to talk about it?’

He fell back against the roof, laying on his back with a gusty sigh. ‘I just broke up with my girlfriend.’

Ladybug sat by his head, petting his hair gently. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Don’t be. It needed to be done. I just wish what prompted me to finally do it hadn’t come at the expense of my pride.’

‘So, what did prompt you?’

Chat Noir grimaced. ‘A wrong number of all things.’

‘Oh?’

‘I’d meant to ask a friend for advice on how to break up with someone, but mis-dialled, and barraged a complete stranger with my sob story. Unfortunately for me, the stranger called me a coward and a whiny piss-baby, and said the only decent thing to do was be honest. So, that’s what I did.’

Ladybug began to snicker. He turned to glare at her reprovingly.

‘Sorry,’ she giggled. ‘So, did you keep their messages?’

‘No, I deleted them. Wait, how did you know it over text?’

‘Because that was me,’ she cackled. ‘I got a text from an unknown number complaining of a high-maintenance, overly dramatic girlfriend. I let him believe I was his friend, even telling them I worked in fashion design.’

Chat Noir sat up, staring at her in disbelief. ‘Holy cats, that was you.’

‘What are the chances, right?’

Chat Noir groaned, flopping down beside her once more. ‘How likely is it that you will forget this whole incident, and let me move on with my life?’ 

‘Not likely at all,’ she chortled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Years ago, my best friend of 10 years got her first serious BF. She was... whoa. She basically acted how Lila did in the story, and was the inspiration for the many, many personality faults there, including running across a busy Sydney street because she felt neglected.  
> I later found out from another friend that she had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was like, there's nothing "borderline" about it. She had even accused me of trying to steal her BF - her closest friend whom she had known for a decade. It hurt that she believed me capable of such a thing.   
> She was exhausting, and often scratched herself in an effort to get sympathy. Real Cutters cut deep enough to scar, and try to conceal what they do to themselves. Not my former-friend. She showed that shit off like it was show and tell day at school. Anyway, we aren't friends anymore. Sometimes, you have to put your own sanity first.


	17. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pure, indulgent fluff. It goes nowhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write about ugly Christmas rashies.

Chat Noir bounded over the rooftops on his way to meet Ladybug for their irregularly scheduled evening patrol. They had decided that a scheduled patrol was a predictable patrol, allowing the criminal underworld to learn and work around their patterns and regular routes. 

To combat this, Ladybug and Chat Noir had created dummy email accounts to keep in contact with each other, and easily agree on a new meeting time and place for their next patrol. There, they also outlined a route and shared any other relevant information.

Tonight, however, was different. It was Christmas Eve, and Chat Noir wanted to give Ladybug her gift. He had tucked it carefully in his pocket, and was giddy with anticipation. He hoped she would accept it.

Ladybug saw him approach, and waved him over from the top of a nondescript building. Smiling broadly, Chat Noir sprinted forward.

‘Good evening, Milady-bug,’ he greeted her, sweeping into a deep bow. 

Ladybug put her hand to her mouth and giggled. ‘Good evening, Kitty. Ready for patrol?’

‘You know it.’

Together, they leapt into the night, their patrol soon descending into a game of chase. Ninety minutes later, they returned to their initial meeting place, panting with exertion.

‘Good run, Kitty,’ Ladybug congratulated him.

‘You too, Buginette. One day, you may even catch me.’

She snorted and shoved his shoulder. Pretending she had delivered a hard blow, Chat Noir threw his arms out, flailing wildly, before falling on his back.

‘Silly cat,’ Ladybug chuckled.

He grinned up at her. ‘Care to join me?’

Ladybug daintily folded her legs beneath her as she sat next to him, just as a light snow began to fall. She gasped and held her hand out, frowning when the flakes melted upon contact.

Chat Noir chuckled. ‘Did you know that it’s summer in Australia now, Bug?’

She raised her brows in mild surprise. ‘Huh. Well, they are on the other side of the planet, and in the Southern Hemisphere. I suppose it makes sense. I just never really thought about it before.’

‘And did you know that instead of ugly Christmas jumpers, they have Christmas rashies?’

‘What’s a rashie?’

‘It’s the top portion of a swimsuit, designed to look like a t shirt. They come in long and short sleeves, for men and woman, and I kind of want one.’

Ladybug looked sceptical. ‘These are popular?’

Chat Noir shrugged. ‘Some brand or other is trying to make them a thing. I think it’s neat, since Australians will never get to experience the joy of a white Christmas.’

‘Unless they travel abroad.’

‘You know what I mean. Oh, that reminds me.’

Chat Noir opened his pocket, and withdrew the small box, neatly wrapped in red paper, and tied with a modest green bow. ‘Merry Christmas, Ladybug.’

She grinned, accepting the proffered box with both hands. ‘Thanks, Kitty. I got something for you, too.’

She leapt to her feet, and ducked behind a chimney stack, returning with a box significantly larger than the one he gave her.

He took it eagerly. ‘Trying to make me feel inadequate, Bug?’

‘Just open it.’

They tore into their presents at the same time, Ladybug with more decorum than Chat Noir. Inside Chat Noir’s box was a layer of tissue paper. Shoving it aside, he pulled out a hideous Christmas jumper of epic proportions. It was bright green, with a grinning cat head wearing a Santa hat, the words “Joyeux Miaoël” emblazoned on the top and bottom in large red letters.

The cat, collar, cuffs, and hem were all black, and down the sleeves were jagged lines reminiscent of his Cataclysm, with red and yellow pom poms dispersed throughout. 

Chat Noir looked at Ladybug gleefully. ‘This is the best thing ever. Thanks, Ladybug.’

She had paused in unwrapping her own gift to watch him. Grinning, she instructed him to turn it over. Obeying, he saw a large black paw print dominating the back. His grin widened.

‘But wait, there’s more,’ she said.

Reaching forward, she turned the jumper back over, and pressed the pom pom at the end of the Santa hat. Flashing multi-coloured lights lit up around the torso, front and back.

Chat Noir gasped. ‘This is incredible. Where did you get it?’

Ladybug shrugged, suddenly bashful. ‘I made it.’

His mouth dropped open. ‘No way.’

‘Way.’

Lunging forward, he enveloped her in a tight hug. ‘Thanks, Ladybug. This is the best gift ever.’

She returned the embrace, patting his back fondly. ‘You’re welcome, Chat Noir.’

Sitting back, he grinned and pulled the jumper over his head, humming in delight. ‘Cozy.’

Ladybug laughed, and continued unwrapping her own gift. Her eyes bulged, then softened when she saw the modest ruby pendant, surrounded by tiny diamonds. She lifted it carefully from the box, examining the fine, silver chain.

‘It’s beautiful.’

Chat Noir shuffled around behind her to help fasten the clasp. ‘The chain is long enough to be discreet if you want to wear it during the day.’

‘I’ll never take it off,’ she vowed.

Chat Noir sat in front of her once more. ‘I’m sorry it’s so impersonal.’

‘Nonsense, I love it. Thank you, Chat Noir, and Merry Christmas.’

‘Merry Christmas, Ladybug.’

They sat side by side, watching the snowfall and admiring the twinkling lights of the city, feeling blessed for getting to live in the most beautiful city in the world. 

Chat Noir hoped that, one day soon, he would be able to enjoy the festivities with Ladybug outside of the masks. That would be the best gift of all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas - Joyeux Noël
> 
> Cat's meaow - Miaou
> 
> Put them together, and you get "Miaoël"


	18. Lipstick is Not Supposed to Kiss Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A drabble - 100 words exactly, not counting the title!

‘Are you sure this one looks good?’ Marinette asked, as Adrien wiped the lipstick across her lips.

‘I’m positive. Trust me, I’ve been watching the makeup artists for years.’

She sat still as he traced her lips, carefully keeping the colour inside the lines.

He sat back. ‘There, all done.’

‘It won’t smudge, or kiss off?’

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on her lips. Drawing back, she saw a smear of pink on his lips.

‘Do I have lipstick on?’

Marinette nodded, astonished.

‘It kisses off. Does it suit me?’

She nodded.

‘I guess I need more, then.’


	19. Reverse Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is disheartened to hear Marinette has a crush on someone.  
> That's what he gets for eavesdropping.

Adrien sat at his desk, scribbling notes and trying not to think about the girl behind him, when he heard giggling whispers.

‘No way,’ Alya gasped, gleefully.

‘I can’t help it,’ Marinette replied. ‘He’s wonderful.’

Adrien felt his ears twitch. They were talking about a boy. His hand stilled as he strained to listen.

‘You should ask him out,’ Alya advised.

Adrien felt his blood chill.  _Marinette likes someone?_

‘How am I supposed to do that?’ she asked. 

‘You wave him down, and say, “I really like you. Would you like to go out sometime?”’

‘He’s not that easy to get a hold of. He’s unpredictable, at best.’

‘Isn’t that why you like him?’

There was a lengthy pause, in which Adrien felt his heart drop to his feet.

‘Yes,’ Marinette eventually grumbled. ‘But he’s also brave, kind, loyal, and absolutely mouthwatering in that leather.’

Adrien almost inhaled his tongue. Whoever she had a crush on, Marinette was head over heels. He sighed, forlornly, wishing he could compete against this guy for her affections. But, he would graciously step aside for her beau, and allow her the happiness she deserved. It still hurt, though.

‘I’m telling you, you need to ask him out, quickly. Preferably before someone else does. You know how popular he is.’

Marinette huffed in exasperation. ‘You know how much I cannot do that. I turn into a stammering mess whenever he so much as glances in my direction.’

Despite himself, Adrien felt bad for her. He could sympathise with her plight, as he found himself unable to confess to his own crush without babbling like a fool.

‘Look, it’s easy. Pretend I’m him. What would you like to say?’

There was another long silence before Marinette exhaled a deep breath. 

‘Ok. Listen, I’ve liked you for a long time. I think you’re great. Would you ever consider going on a date with me, Chat Noir?’

The Sound of Adrien choking on his own spit was covered by the bell ringing the beginning of lunch break.

Nino thumped his back as the others filed out the door, soon followed by Madame Bustier.

‘Dude, you ok?’

‘Marinette likes Chat Noir!’

‘Uh, yeah, I heard. Sorry, Man.’

Adrien turned to him with wide eyes. 

‘ _I_  am Chat Noir,’ he stated, emphatically.

Silence descended.

‘Oops.’


	20. Brain Meltingly Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's summer. No one is coping.

Marinette hated summer. No matter what she did, or how few clothes she wore, she was constantly hot and sweaty. Adding to the indignity, her house had no air conditioning, and the tabletop fan in her room only pushed the hot air around. Cold showers only cooled her off for so long, and her shorts and halter top did nothing to mitigate the heat. It was intolerable.

So, she lay spreadeagled on her chaise, her limbs dangling over the sides, as her joints began to ache. Tikki sprawled atop the parasol, face down, her little antennae drooping, as she let out a sigh.

‘It’s so hot,’ Marinette whined, tilting her head back.

‘You could still go swimming with the girls,’ Tikki suggested.

Marinette scowled. ‘I’m grounded, remember? Stupid Papillon.’

They sighed simultaneously. 

‘I once had a wielder from the Himba tribe in Namibia. The temperatures there can reach up to forty degrees,’ Tikki said.

‘Now that’s hot,’ Marinette replied.

‘It’s amazing how acclimatised I am to French weather now. I can’t even remember how I survived there. Water can be scarce, too.’

‘Sounds like a nightmare.’

‘It was all right. My wielder was a very noble, and brave woman. Possibly one of the strongest bugs I’ve have the pleasure of knowing.’

Marinette squinted up in Tikki’s direction. ‘What are you implying?’

‘Nothing,’ she replied, far too sweetly.

Marinette harrumphed, but let the subject drop. It was too hot to argue.

There was a sudden thud on the balcony, followed by a muffled whine. Marinette’s eyes bulged as she flinched, but declined to move. She just watched the ceiling and waited, while Tikki rolled off the parasol, dropping over the side, before catching herself mere inches from the floor. Wearily, she drifted away to hide behind Marinette’s sewing supplies.

The rooftop access hatch squeaked as it opened.

‘Hello?’ called Chat Noir. ‘You home, Mademoiselle Video Game Champ?’

‘Yeah,’ she called, with a limp wave.

A large, black blur tumbled through the hatch, to bounce on the bed. Apparently finding no comfort there, Chat Noir rolled over the side of the mattress, to fall to the floor with a resounding thump.

‘Ow.’

Marinette glanced over. Chat Noir lay face down on the floor, arms and legs splayed, with his tail over his head.

‘You ok, Kitty?’

‘Hot,’ he mumbled.

‘I bet you are, wrapped up in all that tight, black nonsense.’

He groaned pitifully, before rolling his head to the side. ‘You make a good point, Marinette. Plagg, detransform me.’

In a flash of green light, his suit vanished, replaced by blue shorts, a white t-shirt. Adrien continued to lay where he had fallen, unconcerned. Marinette’s jaw dropped.

‘Chat,’ she squealed, flailing her arms.

He looked up at her, puzzled by her sudden panic. Plagg floated by his shoulder, shaking his  head.

‘Try not to be too mad. The kid’s brain is fried.’

Marinette’s freak out died instantly. It really was too hot to be dealing with this.

‘You want an ice-cream?’ she asked, instead.

‘Yes please,’ Adrien moaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it really only get to about 25° degrees in Paris over summer? I would kill for 25° right now. It's 34° here at the moment. 25° is cool and pleasant.  
> Mind you, I would die in a Parisian winter. There are only a few places which see snowfall here in Australia, and my home town ain't one of them!


	21. Study Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long akuma battle, Marinette and Adrien are both exhausted. However, they can't let their fatigue interrupt their study session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-reveal and pre-relationship.   
> Someone help these poor children.

Marinette tried to smother another yawn, but she almost inhaled her fingers with the force of her breath. She drew her hand away quickly, placing it back in her lap before Adrien noticed her blunder. 

She silently berated herself. She was finally living out one of her most frequent fantasies, alone with Adrien in his room while they studied, but she was too tired to enjoy the moment. 

An akuma had attacked the previous afternoon, and had escaped capture until the small hours of the morning. She and Chat Noir were left so exhausted and frustrated, they didn’t even bother with their traditional fist-bump, instead parting ways with a halfhearted wave.

Now, here she was, in the ideal situation to confess her love, but too fatigued to appreciate it, much less take advantage of the opportunity.

‘Hey, are you doing ok, Marinette?’ asked Adrien.

She sat up straight with a start. ‘I’m awake.’

He chuckled softly. ‘Good to hear. It’s ok if you’re tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night either.’

Surprised, Marinette turned to him. Indeed, there were shadows under his eyes, and his smile wasn’t as lively as normal. Even his complexion looked waxy and dull. 

‘I’m sorry. Would you like me to go, so you can rest? I know you’re usually pretty busy.’

‘No, it’s fine. Besides, I want to finish this. Civics is kind of boring, so I want to get it out of the way.’

‘Ok, if you’re sure.’

He nodded as he hummed an affirmative, before turning back to the book in his lap.

Marinette stifled another yawn as she rested her textbook on her upraised knees, squinting at the tiny print. Normally she liked civics, but all her brain could focus on at this point was sleep. Still, despite Adrien’s assurances, she felt guilty for depriving him of rest. Except, he said he wanted to finish this portion of their homework. Marinette shook her head clear, then turned back to her book. 

Her eyelids grew heavy as the words blurred together.

 

* * *

 

Adrien struggled to keep his eyes open. His mind and body screamed at him to get some rest, but he wanted his homework finished, and it would be poor manners to sleep while he had a guest over. 

Marinette looked as though she were fighting a losing battle herself. Her head nodded, and her eyes had lost their lustre. Immediately, Adrien thought of the cacophonous battle the previous evening, shame boiling in his gut. The final confrontation with the akuma had happened near her parents’ bakery, at after three in the morning. The fight must have woken her up.

Adrien chewed on his lip, wondering how he could apologise without giving himself away, when a warm presence slumped against his shoulder.

He was too tired to be shocked, but it was still a little startling to see Marinette asleep against his arm. 

‘Hey,’ he whispered, jostling his shoulder a fraction.

She barely stirred.

Adrien shook his head and smiled softly at her. As he was the one who had kept her awake all night, he didn’t have the heart to wake her now. Instead, he took this rare opportunity to see her when she wasn’t babbling or flustered, or smiling too wide to be natural. She looked peaceful. She looked pretty.

He had always known she was pretty, but there was something uncomfortably intimate about seeing her asleep against him. Yet, she felt secure enough in his presence to allow herself to be so vulnerable. Warmth replaced the guilt and discomfort, sending a pleasant feeling of fondness through his entire being.

‘Thank you for trusting me,’ he whispered, as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

With exaggerated care, he wormed out from under her. Then he picked her up, cradling her against his chest, until he could lay her down on his bed.

‘You’ll be more comfortable here,’ he murmured. 

Marinette smiled in her sleep, curling into a ball with a breathy hum. Adrien grinned, then surrendered to his own fatigue, sitting beside her on the edge of the mattress. He only needed a moment, then he would get back to his homework.

 

* * *

 

Tikki and Plagg watched their wielders from the back of the couch, grinning. 

‘I’ll bet you a whole wheel of cheese that Adrien wakes up first, flings himself out of bed, and tries to act like a gentleman as if he hadn’t just been cuddling her in his sleep.’

Tikki snickered. ‘I’ll bet Marinette wakes up first, thinks she’s dreaming, then screams when she realises she’s not.’

‘You’re on, Sugar Cube.’


	22. Ouchies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Tumblr's writing-prompt-s blog -   
> You get home to find a Demon sitting in the middle of your living room, crying incoherently while petting your cat. It’s only after a long and very confused assessment as well as noting the bandages around their jaw that you realise the Demon just had some of their teeth removed and has somehow transported itself to your home in their VERY loopy state.
> 
> I know this fic doesn't exactly fit the outline, but I wanted to do it anyway, damn it!  
> In this AU, Mari doesn’t have the Ladybug miraculous yet.

 

‘Marinette, Marinette, have you heard? There’s been another sighting,’ Alya exclaimed as she thrust her phone into Marinette’s face.

Marinette squinted and pushed Alya’s hand down so she could take a proper look. Across the screen, the headline read -  _Paris’ Own Cryptid; Real or Elaborate Hoax?_

Marinette sighed. ‘You don’t really believe a monster is running around at night, do you?’

Alya gaped back at her. ‘But there’s evidence. People have seen it. Some are even saying it’s a demon.’

‘There’s no such thing as monsters or demons.’

Alya frowned, slid her phone back in her pocket, and put her hands on her hips. ‘Just you wait and see, Girl. I’m going to get proof, one way or the other.’

‘If you say so. Just don’t get hurt.’

The bell rang, calling them to class. Marinette followed her excited classmates inside, rolling her eyes at their folly. They all wanted the rumours to be true, but Marinette was more pragmatic. No one had snapped a decent photo of the creature, and eye-witness accounts varied wildly. Some described it as a large animal, while others claimed it was a mutated human. The only points they agreed on was that it was big, black, and had baleful eyes.

News of the creature began a week ago, and everyone was thrilled. It was all they could talk about, and awaited the next sighting with bated breath. Marinette was dismayed to learn that even Adrien was taken in by the hype. He was always keen to hear the latest theories, and see the newest reports. It seemed as if everyone’s lives now revolved around this mysterious being.

Marinette had grown tired of it quickly. It was fun and exciting at first, but news of the creature saturated the media over the last several days, so now she was ready for everyone to move on. However, it was still a hot topic, and the people continued to discuss it for yet another week, much to Marinette’s chagrin.

By Friday, Marinette was thoroughly sick of it, and Alya had still pounced on her before school began. 

‘Look, it’s the clearest image yet, and I took it,’ she squealed.

For the seventh time in as many days, Marinette squinted and lowered the phone to see it clearly. On the screen was a fuzzy photo of a figure on a rooftop. It was fairly large, but slender to the point of emaciation. The moonlight reflected off its back, indicating it had no fur, and its hind legs looked far too long with too many joints. A rat-like tail streamed out behind it, caught in midair as the creature loped along.

‘So, it’s a horribly neglected Great Dane,’ Marinette huffed. ‘Gross, but not monstrous.’

Alya threw her hands up in exasperation. ‘What is with you? I have proof, but you still pooh-pooh it. What will it take to convince you?’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I guess I’d have to see it with my own eyes, or something.’

‘Ugh, you sceptics are no fun.’ Alya looked away, but lit up when she saw Nino approaching. ‘Hey, Nino. What’s up?’

He greeted them with a nod and a smile, but it lacked his usual energy. ‘S’up, Alya, Marinette. You good?’

Marinette tilted her head. ‘Is something wrong?’

Nino flapped his hand dismissively. ‘Nah, Adrien’s just out today getting his wisdom teeth removed. It’s gonna be boring here without him, is all.’

What was left of Marinette’s good mood evaporated. Seeing Adrien was the highlight of her day, despite his preoccupation with Paris’ Cryptid.

‘That’s too bad,’ Alya consoled him. ‘We’ll have to send him a text later, and make sure he’s all right.’

Marinette and Nino agreed enthusiastically, then headed to class just as the bell rang.

 

* * *

 

Waving goodbye to her friends with promises to see each other again on Monday, Marinette went home to be surprised with the news that her Grandmother Gina was in town, and they were all going out for dinner. Marinette hugged her parents and grandmother, then raced to her room to change into a dress she’d recently completed.

Diner was lovely, the company was delightful, and she’d had a great time showing Gina her dress, and discussing her many sewing projects. Gina praised her talents, and promised to bring her fine fabrics from Italy the next time she visited.

After dropping Gina off at her hotel, Marinette sat in the back of the car, watching the streetlights go by in an almost trance-like state. They arrived home, Tom and Sabine announcing they had to go to bed in preparation for another early start. Marinette wished them both a good night, before continuing to her own room.

She pushed her door open with a sigh, but a strange noise made her stop just before her eyes reached room level. Slowly, she inched into her room with as little noise as possible. She imagined many things in those few seconds, but never did she think she would see a large, black creature sitting on her chaise and cradling her white cat pillow, while patting its head and whimpering unintelligibly. 

Frozen on the stairs, still holding her door above her, Marinette blinked once, then screamed.

The creature shot to all fours atop the chaise, its back arching as it hissed at her. It then stumbled sideways, crashed into the wall before falling to the floor with a resounding thud. He landed on his back with his legs up, and balanced against the wall, his tail draped over his face.

Tom thundered into the lounge room to stand at the base of the stairs, his eyes wide. ‘Marinette, what is it?’

Her head swivelled back and forth between her father and her unexpected guest. The creature’s legs slid down the wall until he lay half on his back, half curled over himself at what must have been an incredibly uncomfortable angle. He peered at her from behind the chaise legs, apparently playing peekaboo. 

‘Um, it’s nothing, Papa. I thought I saw a spider, but I think it was just a trick of the light.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asked dubiously.

‘Yes, I’m sure. G’night.’ She scurried into her room before he could question her further. 

Kneeling on the opposite side of the chaise, Marinette peeked back at the creature. He appeared to be a boy in nothing more than a Halloween costume.

‘Hello?’ she started.

‘You look like an angel,’ he whispered, awestruck.

‘Thanks, I guess. You look like a - ‘ she paused. She had no idea what he looked like.

‘I’m a cat,’ he supplied.

Marinette nodded, thinking he didn’t look at all cat-like, except for his eyes. Those she found creepy.

‘Chat Noir,’ he added in a confidential, if hoarse, whisper.

‘Is that your name?’ she teased, ‘or your species?’

He merely nodded, his mouth hanging open. It was then Marinette noticed the bandages around his jaw. She pointed to her own chin, indicating his injury.

‘What happened?’

He blinked back at her, one eye at a time, then scrambled into a kneeling position. ‘Aliens.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Aliens,’ he repeated, emphatically. He tried to lunge over the chaise, but merely belly-flopped on top of it, his limbs dangling over the sides. ‘Alien abduction. They stole me teeth.’

His jaw did look a little puffy and bruised, and she realised what he was trying to say. 

‘You had some teeth removed?’

‘Aliens took ‘em. Bright lights, green paper people, and shiny, grabby things.’

It took a moment to sort that out, then she figured out he was describing his time in the dentist’s chair. 

‘Ok, so why are you here, instead of recuperating at home?’

‘Smells nice, like pancakes.’ He gasped. ‘You’re the pancake Princess.’

‘That’s the reason you’re here, it smells nice?’

He nodded happily. ‘Oh, and to give you this.’

From his pocket, he produced a small, dark box covered in red characters. He grinned as he held it out to her.

‘We’re gonna be crime fighting superheroes,’ he declared. ‘Welcome to the team, Partner.’

Marinette eyed the box warily. ‘No thanks.’

His expression fell, and great tears welled up. Lip wobbling, he slowly withdrew his hand. ‘No?’

‘It’s nothing personal.’

Chat Noir began to wail. Quickly, Marinette slapped both hands over his mouth, but he continued to whimper into her palms.

Before she could placate him, there was a flash of light, and Adrien lay in front of her, still blubbering. Marinette threw herself back, biting her tongue against an expletive. 

‘My partner doesn’t want me,’ Adrien keened, tears dribbling down his cheeks.

Marinette gulped. ‘I knew there was no such thing as demons.’

‘That’s what you think,’ smirked a small black being hovering by Adrien’s shoulder.

That time, Marinette did swear.


	23. This is What it Sounds Like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the doves cry

‘So, I was thinking,’ Chat Noir began, ‘you, me, dinner by the Seine, and enough candles to see into eternity.’

He leaned back, resting his elbows on the brick wall behind him, and wiggled his eyebrows as he smirked. Ladybug, however, remained unmoved.

‘I’ve already told you, I like someone else. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.’

‘You’ve been saying that for months, but you’ve never actually progressed any further with this guy, have you? So why not give me a chance?’

Ladybug scowled. ‘What I do with my love life is none of your concern, and quite frankly, your inability to take no for an answer is deplorable. Why can’t you just accept the fact that we’re friends and partners, and leave it at that?’

Chat Noir stood up straight, his arms crossed. ‘I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask you to just try something with me. Who knows, it may be the best thing to ever happen to both of us.’

‘You’re just being selfish. If you really loved me as much as you think you do, you’d respect my decision, and drop it.’

‘I’m being selfish?’ he gasped in affront.

Ladybug opened her mouth and pointed at him, but then snapped her jaw shut with a click. Turning her back on him, she threw out her yoyo.

‘If you’re going to keep acting like an entitled prick, then I don’t think we’ll even last as friends,’ she shot over her shoulder, before launching into the darkness.

Chat Noir watched her go, fuming silently. In a fit of pique, he ran the rest of their patrol without seeing anything, until he was too physically exhausted to go any further. Wearily, he trudged back to his room, and detransformed.

‘She’s right, you know,’ Plagg drawled as he came to rest on the couch.

‘Zip it, I’m not in the mood.’

Adrien stomped around his room as he got ready for bed, steadfastly ignoring Plagg’s reproachful gaze.

He was still smarting after he crawled under the blankets, and despite his fatigue, sleep did not come right away. Instead, he lay awake for hours, thinking about what Ladybug and Plagg had said.

_Fine. If she doesn’t want to be something more, then so be it_ , he thought resentfully.  _Maybe it’s time I moved on, anyway_.

He was thankful that it was Friday, and that he had a free weekend to nurse his broken heart, before his schedule picked back up on Monday.

_Perhaps this is for the best_ , he told himself just as his eyelids grew heavy.  _I’ve been hung up on her for too long already. I could be happy with someone else. I will be happy with someone else. I deserve that, at least_.

With that thought, his lips curled into a small smile, and he finally fell to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Marinette watched Adrien from the far end of the courtyard, her brow furrowed, until Alya elbowed her in the side. Flinching, Marinette turned to her with a guilty expression.

‘Sorry.’

Alya sighed. ‘You’ve been staring at Adrien way more than usual lately. Has something finally happened between you two?’

‘No, nothing, but don’t you think he’s been a little down recently? I’m worried.’

Wrapping her in a tight embrace, Alya cooed in her ear. ‘Aw, girl. If you’re worried, then talk to him about it. It’s probably nothing, but I’m sure he’d appreciate your concern.’

Marinette eased out of Alya’s hug, her eyes wide.

‘Ask him about personal things? He’ll think I’m invading his privacy, or that I’m implying he can’t take care of himself, or that I’m being nosy, or – ‘

‘Marinette,’ Alya cut her off, giving her shoulders a firm shake. ‘Just bring him a snack and ask if he’s doing ok. He’d like that.’

‘You think so?’

‘I know so. If there’s one thing I know about teenage boys, it’s that they’re always hungry, and they like to talk about themselves.’

Marinette gave her an arch look. ‘Everyone likes to talk about themselves.’

‘Yeah, but boys are so rarely given the urge to vent about their problems without being made to feel like they’re weak, or whatever. I’m sure Adrien would love a non-judgemental audience to listen to his whining.’

‘Adrien would never whine,’ Marinette gasped. ‘But he may actually need to talk about some stuff. I’ll bring him something tomorrow morning, and let him know I’m here for him.’

‘That’s my girl,’ Alya encouraged her. 

 

* * *

 

It had been two weeks since his argument with Ladybug, and while Chat Noir’s relationship with her was strained, they were talking to each other. Conversation was stilted and awkward, and battles had been difficult, but they seemed to be moving past their hurt feelings, and heading into a professional relationship.

While his pride had been hurt, Adrien was sure he had made the right decision for himself, as well as her, to give up on his feelings and move on. He had been blinded by Ladybug for too long, and he’d come to the conclusion that he needed someone who could help him shine, just as he would help them realise their true potential.

What he wanted was a mutually beneficial relationship, where he and his partner could stand on even ground. Of course, he couldn’t tell his prospective partner about his secret identity as a superhero, but in all other areas, he vowed to be honest, supportive, and caring.

Feeling secure in his choices, Adrien stepped from his car to begin another school day. The sight of the various couples who’d paired off over the last year didn’t bother him as much as it had. Rather, it gave him a sense of purpose, even hope, that he too could one day share in that joy.

His first prospective romantic interest flung herself at him with a squeal the moment he entered the courtyard.

‘Adrikins,’ Chloé shrieked, as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Adrien bore her throttling and shrill tirades with good grace, but ultimately decided he couldn’t be with someone who so openly criticised his other friends. He felt bad for secretly rejecting his long-time friend, but Chloé’s openly hostile demeanour would make it hard for him to be in her company while also enjoying his friends’ presence. He pried her off with a weak excuse, then headed into the locker room.

His second prospective partner found him at his locker. Lila leaned against the adjoining locker, and gave him a sultry smile.

‘Good morning, Adrien. You’re looking well. Have you been going to the gym?’

Almost immediately, Adrien struck her from his list. Lila could be a nice person, if she wasn’t so suspicious of everyone around her, especially the girls. Furthermore, her compulsive need to lie indicated a deeper problem she ought to address before she started a serious relationship with another person.

Adrien humoured her with a polite, if brief, conversation before excusing himself. He joined Nino and the other boys at the base of the stairs, then headed upstairs when the bell rang.

The morning lessons flew by, and before he realised it, it was lunch time. As he was putting his books back in his locker, his third prospective romantic interest approached him

‘Monsieur D’argencourt says today’s fencing lessons have been cancelled,’ Kagami informed him. ‘He sprained his wrist yesterday, and that impacts our ability to learn, somehow.’

Adrien tried to laugh, but his smile felt more like a grimace. He admired Kagami greatly; she was strong, intelligent, and capable in all things, but she also lacked tolerance and compassion. She was impatient with those she saw as weak, and saw many other people as competitors or obstacles depending on the situation.

With a resigned sigh, he ruled her out as well. She soon left him, but not without the small, secretive smile she reserved just for him.

_Maybe I should put off dating until I’m twenty-one_ , Adrien thought.

Feeling sorry for himself, he closed his locker, and walked outside. Marinette crashed into him at the bottom of the front steps where she paced, muttering to a pastry box in her hands.

She fell on her backside with a pained grunt, but held the box aloft to keep it from harm.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she gasped, wincing up at him.

Adrien helped her up, mindful of her box. ‘No, it was my fault. I saw you here, but kept going anyway. Are you all right?’

Blinking up at him, she shyly offered him the box. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you that. You’ve seemed, kind of, down lately, and well, I just wanted you to know that if you need to talk, I’m happy to listen.’

Adrien stared at her for a long moment. Before this point, he had only thought of Marinette as a friend, yet here she was, the only person who had noticed he’d been unhappy. She wasn’t spiteful like Chloé, she had no ulterior motives like Lila, and she was kind to everyone without judgement, unlike Kagami.

Adrien could have slapped himself for not noticing her sooner.

‘Hey, want to go get lunch with me?’ he asked.

Her answering smile was brilliant. 

 

* * *

 

Marinette was happier than she had ever felt before. After her lunch with Adrien, he had suggested they do so again the next day, and the day after that. Then, on Friday, he had offered to take her to the movies over the weekend.

Without really speaking about it, they had somehow become an item. She was ecstatic, but tried to tone down her giddiness in his presence. She had offered to listen to him should he need to talk, and she was determined to prove she was someone he could confide in.

She still stammered on occasion, or tripped over her own feet, but Adrien behaved like a gentleman, politely ignoring her stuttering, or helping her up after she fell. But what she loved most were the soft smiles he kept just for her. They made her breath hitch, and her heart stutter, until he broke the spell with a word or action to spur her into movement.

He didn’t mention what had soured his disposition before, and only spoke fleetingly of his troubles, but Marinette didn’t pry. She assured him that she would be ready to listen whenever he felt he could talk about it, and left it at that.

He took her to fancy restaurants, and let her sit in on his photoshoots. She brought him food and cuddled with him under soft blankets on dreary weekends. She confided that their relationship felt a little one-sided, like he was the only one putting in the effort, but he replied that she had done so much more for him than money or fancy outings ever could. He claimed that she was the one spoiling him, with her easy comfort and endless generosity.

Over the first few weeks of their relationship, Marinette was deliriously happy. Then, one rainy Saturday evening, he had kissed her as she was seeing him off. It was tentative and a little clumsy, but sweet. She could feel his warmth, both literally and figuratively, and gently reciprocated, hoping to convey her own giddy rush of emotions.

She bit her lip as they drew back, trying to hide a smile. Adrien ducked his head, blushing furiously, but no less delighted. He departed with an awkward wave, then ran home through the light rain.

Soft kisses soon joined their routine, in amongst playing videogames and doing homework. They both blushed every time, even though they only indulged when they were alone. For now, they wanted what they had only for themselves, to enjoy their private world for a little while longer. 

 

* * *

 

Adrien adored Marinette. She was warm, caring, supportive, generous, and kind. She was also bold, brave, witty, strong, intelligent, a great conversationalist, and she kicked his butt at Ultimate Mecha Strike. She was like the best parts of every girl he had ever met combined into one beautiful package. Yet she was also so uniquely her, it was hard to quantify.

She was not without her faults. Marinette could be rash, impatient, and emotional, but to Adrien, they were the necessary parts of a wonderful whole. He knew he wasn’t perfect either, but Marinette still accepted him unconditionally. He guessed that was just how love worked.

He loved her. She was his dearest friend.

But it didn’t feel like enough. 

 

* * *

 

‘Adrien, is everything ok?’

He was playing Ultimate Mecha Strike with her in her room, but his grip on the controller was slack, and his eyes were distant.

_He’s a million miles away_ , she thought.

Over the last two weeks, she had felt him pulling away. She wasn’t blind. She’d noticed when he stopped holding her hand while they were alone, and how he only kissed her when he was saying goodbye.

_Even his kisses feel like he’s just going through the motions_.

She didn’t doubt he still cared for her, but the emotions he’d had were fading. He no longer blushed or giggled, he stopped taking her to his photoshoots, and their conversations had turned dry and impersonal.

The game ended without either of them noticing.

‘Adrien?’

When he didn’t respond, she called his name again, louder.

He started, then turned to her with a lukewarm smile. ‘Sorry, what was that?’

Marinette’s gaze fell to the floor. ‘Is everything ok? You’ve been so distant lately. I was just wondering if I’ve done something to upset you?’

Adrien set the controller aside with a weary sigh. ‘I’m sorry, it’s not you, really.’

Still fiddling with her own controller, Marinette bit her lip. ‘Is it something you can talk about?’

Anxiety churned in her gut as she watched him rub his face and slump back against the chair.

‘You’re an amazing girl, Marinette.’

She didn’t need him to finish that sentence to know where he was going. Something large and painful lodged in her chest, and stopped her from breathing. Tears burned her eyes, but she blinked them away before he noticed.

‘You want to break up with me.’

He met her eyes with genuine remorse. ‘I’m so sorry. You truly are amazing, and you deserve the world.’

‘But?’

He took a deep breath, and released it. ‘I’m in love with someone else. She’s already rejected me, but a part of me still keeps thinking what if? You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart. I’m sorry, but I think mine will always gravitate back toward her.’

‘You don’t have to keep apologising,’ Marinette whispered.

‘I honestly thought I could move on with you. You really are an amazing girl, and I’m sorry it’s come to this. It’s ok if you hate me. I’d understand.’

‘I don’t hate you, Adrien.’

His head snapped up. ‘But I led you on.’

Marinette forced up a watery smile. ‘Come on, give me some credit. I’m not going to hate you for loving someone. You can’t help how you feel. Besides, I’ve known for a while that this was coming.’

‘I guess I wasn’t subtle at all, huh? Will you be all right?’

‘I’m a big girl, Adrien. Sure, it’s going to hurt for a while, but I’ll manage.’

He opened his mouth, hesitated, then rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I’ll see myself out.’

Without another word, he picked up his bag and left.

Marinette remained where she was, tears streaming silently down her cheeks, while Tikki fretted nearby, blotting at Marinette’s face with a tissue. Grabbing another tissue, she blew her nose, then tossed it into the bin.

‘Marinette?’ Tikki asked.

‘I’d like to be alone for a while.’

Marinette stood up, and took the tissue box up to her bed with her. There, she collapsed into her pillows, and cried until she was hoarse. 

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir watched Ladybug from the corner of his eye all night. She was quiet and tense, her movements slow, but jerky. He didn’t know what to make of that, so he kept his distance, deciding to let her be until she was ready to talk.

It hurt to see her like that, though. It was clear she was hurting, but he didn’t think she would appreciate his attempts at comfort, and he was still feeling raw after his breakup with Marinette.

_It’d be like the blind leading the blind,_  he mused.  _I’m in no position to offer comfort or advice when I’m the afflicted and the cause of other peoples’ suffering_.

Instead, he kept an eye on her, ready to catch her if she missed her step or stumbled a landing.

However, she chose not to confide in him that night. After patrol was over, he was forced to let her go even as a million questions buzzed around his mind. 

 

* * *

 

On Monday, Marinette asked to switch seats with Alix.

‘Only for a couple of weeks, if that’s ok,’ she assured her.

The other girls crowded around her with pitying expressions as Alix agreed to the swap. Marinette had only told them she and Adrien had broken up, and that it was amicable, but she still needed space to clear her head. She wouldn’t be able to recover as quickly if she had to stare at the back of his head day in and day out for the next couple of weeks.

Mercifully, no one had pressed her for details, but Chloé seemed to be gloating, Lila only offered false sympathy, while Kagami refused to acknowledge her existence.

_It could be worse_ , she thought wearily.

Adrien only attempted to catch her attention once, before realising she wasn’t ready to confront him yet. He’d pulled back as if he’d been burned, then let her be.

The classroom was tense, but no one was taking sides or throwing accusations around. Everyone seemed to realise it was just one of those things, and that no one was at fault, but the atmosphere was still gloomy.

On Friday, Rose patted Marinette on the back.

‘Do you want to come and watch Kitty Section rehearse?’ she asked. ‘Maybe you can think of new costumes for us.’

‘Sure, sounds fun.’

Marinette accompanied Rose, Ivan, and Juleka back to the Couffaine houseboat, determined to put her heartbreak behind her. Anarka greeted her warmly, but Luka seemed a little more reserved. She tried to smile at him and set his mind at ease, but he wasn’t convinced. After rehearsals, he asked her to stay a minute.

‘Is everything all right, Marinette? You seem to have something like this inside you.’ He strummed a mournful tune on his guitar.

Her gaze slid aside, as a familiar ache settled in her chest. ‘Did you know Adrien and I were dating?’

Luka’s brows shot upward. ‘Juleka never tells me anything. I’m guessing you’re not anymore?’

Rubbing her arm, she shook her head. ‘He’s in love with someone else.’

Luka stood very still for a long moment, before tugging on Marinette’s arm until she sat down with him. Leaving his guitar on the bed, Luka wrapped her in a tight hug.

‘You can cry if you need to. I’ll be here for you, always.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue Lukanette!  
> Too bad Agreste, you missed out! Sucks to be you, son! XD  
> Mari never found out who Adrien dumped her for. Small mercies.  
> Y'all can decide the rest for yourselves ;D


	24. Seven Minutes in Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alix does not want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea came to me just as I began reading a Chouette short... Y'all can thank ladyblargh for this one.  
> Everyone's about early to mid 20s here.

****The party at Kim’s house was loud and wild. Drunken partygoers sang, danced, talked, and drank until the wee hours of the morning. Eventually, the revelry subsided, and people began to make their way home, leaving only Alix and her former classmates from Collège.

Swaying on her feet, Alya held up her glass and grinned. ‘Who wants to play seven minutes in heaven?’

This suggestion was met with zealous, if drunken, approval from the rest of them.

Alix tilted her head. ‘How do you play?’

Kim grinned wide. ‘There are no specific rules, other than two people get locked in a closet together for seven minutes. No phones, no lights. That said, I nominate - ‘

‘Me ‘n’ Nino,’ Alya interrupted, before grabbing Nino by the wrist and dragging him into a closet, to the ribald cheers of their friends.

Max counted down the time, while the others watched the closet doors with glee. When Max counted down the last seconds, the others joined in, pumping their fists with each number. Then, Alya and Nino stumbled out, looking flushed, their clothing rumpled and their hair mussed. Nino had a smear of lipstick over his own lips, and down his neck.

‘Huh,’ Alix muttered, as understanding dawned.

Next to enter the closet was Kim with Chloe. They emerged after the set time much like Alya and Nino had, though Chloe looked extremely smug while Kim seemed stunned it had even happened.

Then Alya nominated Marinette and Adrien. Looking awkward and nervous, they entered the closet, and softly closed the door behind themselves. When they emerged, Adrien wore Marinette’s lipstick, looking dazed, while Marinette seemed astounded by her own temerity.

The crowd cheered, and raised their glasses in salute, while the two blushed furiously, unable to look the other in the eyes.

Kim cleared his throat. ‘Next is Alix and Juleka.’

Alix’s head snapped up. She hadn’t expected to be called upon. ‘What?’

‘It’s your turn,’ he replied with a wink. ‘In you go.’

Juleka strode over, and took Alix’s hand, as poised as any well-bred young lady. Alix, however, had the sudden urge to yank her hand back and flee. Unfortunately, if she did that, Kim would torment her, their friends would think she’s a spoilsport, and she might hurt Juleka’s feelings.

Her indecision was her undoing. Before she could make up her mind, she was in the closet, with the door locked firmly behind her.

They stood there in silence for a small eternity. The closet was warm and close, the muffled voices of their friends drifting in to only add to the awkwardness.

‘Are you ok?’ Juleka finally asked.

Alix rubbed her arm. ‘Yeah, fine.’

‘You don’t want to make out, do you?’ It wasn’t a question.

Alix sighed. ‘Not really.’

‘May I ask why?’

‘Well, you’re in love with Rose, right? You two may not have announced anything, but the rest of us can see it. I don’t want to jeopardise whatever it is you both have.’

She heard Juleka shuffle, her vague silhouette hunching over slightly. 

‘I thought we were being discreet.’

‘You are. Some people are still unconvinced you’re a thing. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.’

‘Thanks, but that’s not the whole reason you’re so reluctant, is it?’

She sighed again. ‘I just don’t really care for all this lovey-dovey stuff, that’s all. I mean, I’m happy for everyone who’re in relationships, but I just don’t care for it myself, you know?’

She saw the Juleka shape nod, and went on.

‘Some people have interpreted my lack of interest in boys as a sign of gayness, but I’m not a lesbian either. I just don’t care. I’m completely disinterested in relationships beyond friendship, that’s all.’

‘You’re asexual.’

‘Exactly,’ she exclaimed, relieved someone finally got it. ‘But they’re waiting for us to leave the closet looking like we’ve made out, and they’re too drunk to let it slide.’

‘I have an idea.’

Alix squinted into the dim light as Juleka rubbed a thumb across her lips, before stroking it over and around Alix’s mouth. She felt the lipgloss slide over her skin, and smiled when Juleka drew her hand back.

‘I’ll let Rose know we didn’t actually kiss. You don’t have to worry about causing drama between us, and if you’re not out as ace, I won’t say anything,’ Juleka murmured.

Alix grinned up at her. ‘Thanks, Jules. You’re a legend.’

The door was suddenly yanked open from the outside, Kim grinning in at them. 

‘So, how’d it go?’ he asked with a leer.

Alix shoved by him. ‘None of your business, Jockstrap.’

The others hollered and pointed to the lipgloss on Alix’s face, while Juleka moved to stand beside Rose once more.

Alix then made her excuses and left, but she noticed Juleka murmuring in Rose’s ear. Rose nodded along, and shot Alix a thumbs up just as the front door swung shut behind her.

She knew Rose and Juleka would keep her secret. They were good friends.


End file.
